How can I make this work?

Ok, girlasksguys, last week my fiancee broke up and I moved back to my parents place. She cheated on me. She didn't sleep with him, or even meet him anywhere. They texted back and forth, the day that I found out we were talking about her stopping lying to me because I had caught her in one the day before.

So I blew a gasket the night I seen the text on her phone from the other guys, I packed my sh*t the next day and left. Now, I wish that I wouldn't have left, and we have been texted each other the past couple of days and called each other last night. We decided to work it out. Stay together and we both want to marry each other, and don't want to be with each other.

We lived with her parents before I left, and I have been wanting to leave for quite sometime. I wanted us to move out and do our own thing. Before I left we spent the night talking and I said I was going to leave to clear my head and decide what was going to happen, and also give her time to decide what she really wanted. Also, the night that I got to my parents house, I logged onto her FB and seen her talking with her Dad, they were calling me a coward, mama's boy, and she said that she felt free. When I asked her about this we she that those things were only said because she was hurt. That she didn't mean them.

When we talked last night I told her I want us to have our own place. I haven't said when I was going to move back into town, and she said that she is enjoying the time she has to figure herself out. So, as of right now, we are having a long distance relationship. We also talked about control, she said I could be very controlling at times, which I can see, and we decided that we wouldn't share FB passwords anymore.

I was just wondering what you guys think about this? Is this just a ploy for the both of us to stop the pain for now, only for her to tell me later that she has moved on, or could this be great for us? Giving her time to figure herself out and myself as well. I have always been the nice guy, so I was passive aggressive in our relationship, I noticed this and I am now reading through the book " No More Mr.Nice Guy" to help me change the way I think.

And just so you guys and girls know, we are young. She is 19 about to turn 20, and I am 22 about to be 23 I am also about to graduate college. We have been together since we was 17(few months before 18; no sex till 18).

Do you people think that this will blow up in my face, or will it be good for her and I both? I have mixed feelings about it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is exactly why I always try to talk younger people (early 20's) out of getting married, or even having that mindset. IMHO, people shouldn't even think about getting married until they're late 20's or early 30's. Your maturity and life experiences are so different then...

    Okay, so this girl was texting another guy? What was the nature of the texting? Flirty? Sexual? Innocuous? I have to assume she must have felt bad enough to attempt to cover it up with a lie. Without knowing more, it sounds like breaking up was the right thing to do. If you two decide to get back together, I strongly recommend that you DO NOT live together or talk about getting married anytime soon. You're too young. Just my $0.02...


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What Guys Said 2

  • You both sound very unsure about settling down right now. Which is fine, you're very young. But she's given you reason not to trust her by cheating on you, if it wasn't serious to you, you wouldn't use the word cheating... so obviously you feel betrayed. And her actions now are not reassuring you that trust or loyalty is earned regardless.

    It's your call, you can wait for her to decide, but I wouldn't wait longer than 2 weeks, if after that time I think you should just move on and find someone else.

  • Give her time to decide. It seems that she likes being single for a while and devoid of any responsibilities to you.

    This could really work. Try hanging out again.


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