She cheated on me, should I forgive her or leave?

My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, 15 months to be exact. Everything was wonderful, and I really thought I saw a future and family with her. We loved each other with all our hearts... But in mid-January she went 200 miles away to Job Corp, which is like a trade school/ training facility so she could get job skills and a job. It was VERY hard for me when she left...she called about once a week for the first month but gradually called less and less. Said she'd write me letters but never did. I was completely loyal and faithful to her, but it was so hard and painful to wait for a letter that never came, or by a phone that didn't ring..



Well last week she got to come home for a week, but I noticed she wasn't the same as when she left. wasn't enthused, or seem to be happy to talk to me...no kiss, no affection and no "I love you". Turns out she actually met someone else there and had a "deep connection" with...said she couldn't handle the distance from me and it hurt too much. Only known him a couple months, while she's known me almost a year and a half..She kissed this guy and they hung out every day over there. doesn't want me anymore..It crushed me, and I kicked her out of the house in tears...



I Haven't ate, barely slept and lost close to 13 lbs in a few days... My only comfort has been my sweet 2 y/o black cat, who snuggles and nuzzles in my lap...meows when I cry and lays next to my head on the pillow..



What can I do? I'm just tired of hurting

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Forgive and forget but move on, I'm in a long distance relationship and if my current girlfriend cheats on me I'll slam that door shut for good. Don't waste your patience for someone who cannot appreciate you. Waste of time and nerves. The pain will pass and the wounds will heal in time. I've been there, something very similar happened with me and my ex but for different reasons. I was actually the one who had to go away and after my return she wasn't the same, as it turned out she was actually chatting with a guy on Facebook and she thought she had finally met her true love. She threw away nearly four years of great moments in an instant because "she felt neglected" because I went away to finish my bachelor's and to work. In reality, however, she was acting neglectful the months predating our brake-up because I was busy with the university, working two jobs and still finding enough time to prepare romantic dinners that she usually skipped because she was having "ladies night with the girls" or other gestures of gratitude for her patience that she easily overlooked.

    I feel your pain but you should move on. What goes around comes back around, the same thing will happen to her one day - in the case with my ex - the guy she left me for was actually a jerk pretending to like her but was only pretending to be interested in her just to get in her panties. And even if she begs, and asks you to forgive her - don't. Once lost, trust is impossible to be restored.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I am sorry you had to go through this. I feel your starting question isn't really relevant though.. She has showed you doesn't love you like you love her, and didn't have enough respect for you to wait, so the only option is to leave. I am sorry you are crushed. I have been cheated on before too. It really stings and is hard to come back from, I have healed from my hurt a while ago but even to this day I have some trust issues. You will get through this though, time will heal. Maybe take some time to treat yourself and focus on you. Focus on all the great qualities you have to offer someone who will appreciate it like she didn't. Focus on qualities you will look for in a potential future person that are necessary so that trust isn't an issue. Focus on creating a support system to explain your hurt and cheer you on along the way of healing ( for example your cat, friends, family, church, temple? Whatever works for you).

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What Guys Said 7

  • Let me tell you the way it works. You can't leave women alone for any length of time or they will cheat on you. You work late one too many times and they're in bed with another guy.

    Wish her the worst and never look back. Find a gal who will be faithful. It's a very hard task, you'll be glad you did.

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  • Im sorry but the best thing for you is simply - patch her.

    If she does it once that means the weakness is already there and you know what they say, no matter what it is, the first time is the hardest.

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  • This is probably not the answer you want to hear, but you need to break it off, and move on. Your love and attention are deserved by another. Lean on your family and friends, and talk to them. Most importantly, take some time to find a calming place and reflect, whether it be a park, church or whatever. and instead of just feeling sad work through your emotion.

    Best of luck man.

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  • I'm sorry to hear this my friend. I really don't know what to say to make you feel better. I think you should let her go. You deserve much better then that.

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  • Only forgive her if you're ready to do so... but just because you forgive her it will never heal the wounds she caused you, you'll never be able to trust her again so there is no hope of ever rekindling anything. It was a very kind hearted thing you did, waiting on her and it is a sorrowful situation you find yourself in. But you need to accept that it's over and nothing will ever make things the way they were. Learn from this and know that having someone leave for years on end, unless you're married... likely will be the last time you're together so it's best to part ways when it becomes apparent that this journey with another is over.

    It's best to close that chapter of your life and move onto the next now. You have a long life ahead of you, and the next chapter is waiting to be written.

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  • One thing I learned is that their is no girl worth it! Literally!

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  • You should really leave her.

    You clearly deserve a better girl.

    It's really hard when both of you and your girlfriend are in some kind of long distance because this type of scenario happens a lot.

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