Is he too possessive? is this a sign of a controlling relationship or is he just real into me?

So the guy that have been talking to since March 10, 2013 has been seeming a little demanding. He text me last night and was like "hey babe! what are you doing?" so I told him I just got out of a very hot shower and I was in there for like 30 minutes so I'm drained and was laying across my bed in my towel. So he proceeds to say "okay is your door locked?" and I say no. So he says to me in a text "well you need to put on some clothes, lock your door and send me a picture of what you have on." So I say excuse me I'm not gonna put on clothes if my roommates come in my room they knock and if they don't knock they have seen me nude plenty of times because we play sports together and we change in locker room and shower in locker room and everyone see's everyone. And he simply says "did you see what I just said...?" and I said yes you told me to put on clothes and he says " alright then so you need to do what I said and send me a picture of what you have on." So I felt like in order for him not to be mad at me I had to. So I put on a sports bra and volleyball shorts and sent him a picture.

I didn't think much of it until today when I told him that I was going to go get a coffee with my tattoo guy. he knows that the tattoo guy use to like me, but my guy KNOWS that I don't like the tattoo guy AT ALL... So I didn't think it was necessary to lie to him about going. However, when I told him I was planning on going he flipped on me and was like "WTF is your problem? you will not be going with him to get coffee.. you know what go ahead and go and do you..." so I was shocked and was surprised that he reacted that way because he knows that I don't like the tattoo guy and that I like him (my guy) more than anything. So I said okay babe I won't go if your uncomfortable with it. and he says "naw F*** it go ahead.." but I responded no I'm not going and he texted me back and was like "iight babe cool." So I don't know if this is a sign of him being really controlling or am I just messing up really bad? like I'm so confused please shine some advice my way.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah this dude sounds wicked controlling. I feel like guys who have no experience or just aren't mature yet do stupid things like this. I was clingy in my first relationship, not anything close to this, but it was the cause of the end of that relationship. It just doesn't sound healthy and I really don't think you should continue with this relationship. I mean that's my opinion, other people might be more giving with him but to me, it sounds bad. You didn't do anything wrong. Honestly, the night he told you to put clothes on should have been the end of it. Again, all my opinion.

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    • do you think I should talk to him andlet him know how I'm feeling about it first or should I just break it off completely?

    • Its really your call. But what I've learned over the years is that people are not going to change unless they want to. For example, I didn't grow up and mature relationship wise until my ex broke up with me. We dated for 2 years and I was always too clingy and made stupid arguments. But I didn't have to change because she was still with me. Once she ended it, I came to see how bad I was in the relationship and that is when I changed. I'm a completely diff guy now for the better.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yeeeaaa you just met, less than a month ago. I wouldn't let my fiance of two years talk to me like that! Possessive, controlling . . . not good. If things got serious btwn you two eventually he wouldn't even let you hang out with your GF's. End it now. I PROMISE you it will not go well if you continue.

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    • right, I just like him so much already and that was the first time he did this and this sucks... like I do indeed like him but I don't want him to be so controlling over me.. I like be controlled but in a different way you know... ugh so do you think I should just break it off or should I talk to him and let him know that he is controlling and if he doesn't change then I'm done?

    • He's not changing. His personality won't allow him to see what is wrong with what he is doing. If he does know it's wrong, he doesn't care. I'm sure you aren't the first girl to go through this with him. It will only get worse.

  • Oh my God- you didn't do anything wrong. He is being extremely controlling and you need to know that you are not going to change him. So unless you like being treated like a friggin servant, you best get out from underneath this sh*tbag NOW. It will only get worse. The more you give in, the further he will push you until you don't even recognize yourself anymore. Good luck, girl- and YOU CAN DO BETTER.

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