I'm thinking about breaking my no contact rule.

My ex didn't communicate with me on the day that she broke up with me .that led to her thinking that she had every thing figured all out .she dump me without even talking to me to see if what she believes I did was true or not.it's been 2 years since the break up and I can know say that I am about 97% over her.but I just can't take the fact that she is out ther living her life just fine .I do want her to have a good life and all but it just sucks for me becaues I was hurting pretty bad and I knew that I didn't do what she thinks I did.I really wish she would of talke to me because she really cause me a lot of pain that could of been avoided.so I was thinking about breaking the no contact rule next week to get some answers and some closure .but now I am starting to get cold feet I just don't know how she will response to me or if she will at all.and I don't won't to look weak .but I really would like to talk to her.not to beg for her to come back to me.I just want to have a conversation to help me move on .I don't like getting blame for something that I didn't even do and not get the right to prove I'm innocent.

Should I go ahead and face my fear and take a chance sending her a email asking if I may talk with her knowing that I could get hurt again? I keep thinking that she is just going to block me or continue to stick to her guns and not listen to me.or should I just play it safe and keep her block and try my best to forget her and move on .that way I will not have to see her because I know that I still like her ?it's been to years now and I don't know how she will react to me.if I do this.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • NOOOOOO don't even think another thought about this ever again. DID YOU SAY 2 years? WTF dude do not be pathetic. You wasted all that time thinking about a word or two that could have avoided pain? You would be wrong !

    OMG Dude I'm sorry that you hurt and I am fighting bitch slapping you right now.

    You need to get your life back in order. Starting right now!

    THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS CLOSURE !

    when you leave the house shutting the door behind you. Do you turn around and re shut the door? No you don't, because the door is already shut. Doesn't mean if the door shut on it's own. or if she shut it or you. doesn't matter if the door was slammed. The point is the door is already shut ! so leave it alone and walk away.

    It doesn't help a single thing or make it easier. IT IS OVER. time for you to realize it.

    As soon as you allow the process to of grieving to occur the sooner another door will open for you. but this door has to shut first.

    If you need help with that then ask and I will help ya. I've been through this and holding on and getting her back was only temporarily and hurt even more and it never got better.

    I was so stupid and pathetic. just like how you sound right now.

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    • Yah thanks I could Really use your help before I do some thing that I'm going to regret .so what do I need to do to shut this door for good

    • accept that it is over and that she has already forgotten about you. Hurts I know but you need to realize that so you can put to rest that there is no chance. forget she even existed! You deserve better and she wasn't it. That is the first thing to do. for more info at a later time friend me up and I will guide ya when you are ready. cry when you need to cry and talk when you need to talk about it, don't ignore what you are feeling or trying to manipulate your mind . Stay in reality!

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What Girls Said 5

  • No, don't do that. I think talking to her would only make it worse. You just need to forget about her. If you try to talk to her, chances are she's going to ignore you (especially since she thinks you did something horrible or whatever). Then you'll just end up thinking about her even more, like why she isn't answering, why she won't give you a chance to explain yourself etc. If she wanted to give you a chance to explain yourself, she would have given you one already. So she probably won't give you a chance now, either. You'll just be reminded about it all over again, so it's best to just leave it at that.

    Plus, I don't think she's going to be convinced that easily, and she'll just think you've been making a story up for the last two years to defend yourself. It's too late for it now, you should have talked to her while the issue was still fresh. She'll probably think you're pathetic. Just forget about her, it's not worth it. The door is already closed, like standUP said. She's had her closure a long time ago, now it's time for you to have yours. Move on.

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    • Thanks for your advice .and I did try to talk to her on the day that it happen but she did not reply back to any thing that I sent to her.so yah your right if it didn't work when it was fresh then how is it going to work for me now

  • Keep giving yourself time to heal. Eventually you will filly get over this and you won't need closure,

    Hitting her up to talk about your relationship , in her eyes will look has if you haven't moved on although you say you have.

    Keep your dignity and let this be a past chapter in your life.

    We can't get closure for everything...sometimes it's best for us to just move on.

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  • Why waste your time? She must have moved on already and that would make you look wrong. You should have talked to her sooner. Don't you think it's too late?

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    • I tried talking to her on day one .I did all that I could to get through to her but she would not reply back to anything that I sent to her .

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    • Hmmm that's weird though. If you were with her for so long then being obsessive will not lead to a break up immediately. Though I do think its a little late...

    • Yah it might be a little to late .

      Its just The one thing that I really hate about this brake up is knowing that it ended based off of some B.S false facts about me .that's just only thing that I am having a hard time letting go of.

  • Unless she said "don't ever contact me again," you can try for closure. Just keep your expectations low, and you'll be happy with the outcome.

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  • 2 years was long to wait... but do it if it bothers you. It might lead to shame/embarrassment temporarily, but in 10 years are you REALLY going to care if you spilled your heart to your ex one more time? I feel like the no contact rule is just an excuse for people who don't want to deal with what they've done so they can forget someone sooner. idk. I'm not a fan.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Two years is a long time, and that makes you look needy. At the time of the break-up, she wouldn't have listened if you tried to talk to her, because she was angry. You may have gotten blamed for something, but sometimes, you just have to let it go. I know letting go is difficult, but it is no use talking to people who won't listen, unless you have good communication skills or something.

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    • Yah I get what your saying.thanks for your advice .

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    • It was 2 or 3 years after, too.

    • Actually, it is a little more complicated than that. The QA needs to have perception and understanding so that he knows exactly how the ex will react. Closure is sometimes okay, but the ex needs to be a patient person in order for that to happen. If the QA sets up a meeting and, as soon as he starts talking about the relationship, if she decides to not listen, then it will look bad for him. But closure is good too, as long as she is understanding enough to be able to listen.

  • 2 years is a long time of NC. What I would NOT do is hit her up to talk about your break up... That's the worst thing you can do. Just hit her up as a friend and see how she responds. If the relationship comes up when you guys are talking then it does. But I would stay away from the past if you want any chance of friendship. Just my honest opinion.

    I broke the NC with my Ex after 5 months and we sat down and had lunch and talked about a whole bunch of stuff, a little bit about are break up, which was ugly. But it was nice to be friends. Don't rush into talking about the relationship and don't point any fingers, or you will get hurt again.

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  • The no contact rule is just a stupid unwritten rule. I say bread it I've done it before and it works.

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