Was I his rebound girl?

I met this guy through a mutual friend on a drunk night (absinthe should say enough). We were both really drunk and somehow started chatting. We eventually kissed at the party (I protested at first, but gave in). I dreaded the next day, but he was still extremely nice. We met up several date for a real date (dinner, cinema, romantic café, bench by the river). He started telling me he loved me pretty soon, in very cute ways. I never said it back, because I thought it was too soon. He broke up with his girlfriend about four months ago, but I think he was over her. However, there was this other girl I always heard our mutual talk about her "oh, he's so in love with this girl" before I met him. I even talked about her about him that first night, but he said he could easily get over things like that.

We met up several more times, but I always felt a bit awkward around him because I felt like he was way more into me than I was into him. I did feel that it would come eventually, because he's everything I like in a guy and it always take long with me. During this Easter holiday he went to his father in a different country and didn't say anything to me for three days (we used to talk daily). I asked him for an explanation after three days but he didn't reply. I had to talk to our mutual friend before he finally told me he didn't feel any 'sparks' between us and that he thought it wouldn't work out between us. I was heartbroken because I always thought I was the one having doubts about the relationship. We were never officially together, but asked our mutual friend "I always wonder we're in a relationship or not" and all our friends thought we were together. He even told his ENTIRE family about me (including aunts and uncles).

Was I his rebound girl for the second girl that never gave into him? I feel really let down because while he started liking me less, I started liking him more. Why would he tell me "I love you" an all those sweet things? I still think he loves the second girl and she probably started talking to him again, which is why he "dumped" me. But then why would he tell his family about me? I'm still so confused although I'm trying to move on.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You were a rebound. I hate to say that because you sound like a nice person but it is quite clear that he used you as a substitute for his ex. He poured out the affection on you that he wanted to share with her because you allowed him to but at the same time your doubts were probably evident to him - which stopped him from really bonding with you. As he got over his ex, he was getting over you at the same time since you were filling her role.

    Him telling his family about you was in his mind him telling them about his ex, he said your name but her face was in his mind as he said it. His lack of maturity is evident the cheesy way he broke up with you, going out of town and not communicating.

    Being used really hurts a person's self-esteem but you'll get over it and be wiser for the experience. Accept that this was a mistake and let yourself heal before jumping back into the dating pool and you'll do better next time.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Fuggetaboud 'im! Absence makes the heart go wander. (And absinthe maketh the heart stupid).


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