Girls, please help!! I don't know what she's thinking!

So my ex girlfriend and I have been slowly getting closer and closer. The last month or so we have been extremely affectionate and physical towards one another. The other day she told me that we are acting too much like a couple and that she isn't ready for a relationship. She then asks to come over later on that day. I told her I didn't know if it was a good idea given her attitude earlier. So yesterday she's like I'm going to come over I made you something. So she comes over brings me a treat and we go to the mall. At the mall she tries to hold my hand a few times. After the mall we made dinner together (I actually cooked it and let her relax) and then went to get some coffee and talk. We were laughing and etc. On the drive back to my house she hints that she wants a massage. So I give her one and she's saying how amazing it is etc etc. So she goes home calls me literally 5 minutes after till she gets home which is about 45 minutes. Then calls me again about 20 minutes later. I don't get what she wants to be honest. She calls me her best friend yet wants to have sex with me quite frequently. She tells me how amazing of a guy I am, how much she cares for me, freaks out if I don't answer her calls or text messages. My dad says that in her head she's just quantifying being with me and making her decision. She told me she knows that when we get back together that we will more than likely get married. My mom and her brought it up and she told my mom that at times she can see us married and stuff. I really do love this girl and I know that anything worthwhile isn't going to be easy. I just would like some outsiders perspective. Thanks a ton


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What Girls Said 1

  • She seems like she still loves you and wanting to be with you. Maybe she's just confused for the moment of what she actually wants? Did you tried discussing with her about her behaviors? Maybe it's better for both of you to sit down and discuss this face to face seriously like an adult. Apparently her behaviors towards you indicate that she wants to be together with you, and she might be missing those times when the two of you were together. If she still insists that she's not ready for the relationship, then don't allow her to use you like she's in a relationship with you. God knows that she's actually waiting for someone else and feeling bored right now and using you as a lifesaver while that guy is making up his mind. I'm not saying she's doing it, but there are girls out there who does this, so just make sure you discuss this thoroughly with her ok?

    • I've brought it up to her a few times. She does this where she gets super close and backs off. Each time she gets progressively closer to me. I asked her straight up if there was another guy. I told her I wouldn't be made because I want her to be happy. She told me no there isn't. She said she's so consumed about how she hates her career and wants to find another thing. I respect that I was in the same boat. She also suffers from depression and anxiety too. I have a time-line in mind.

    • Then maybe you should back away from her a bit, you can talk to her every time she needs someone to talk to, but try to refrain being in close proximity with her not until she could make up her mind about your relationship. Hating her career and wanting to find a new one does not permit her not to establish a relationship with you but to come and go near you as she likes. You have your own heart to take care on too right?

What Guys Said 1

  • She really loves you, it seems. I don't think there is anything to worry about here, except for one thing. Make sure that whatever caused you guys to break up the first time around, you address this time. Make sure the same mistakes don't happen again.


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