I went through this. In the end if it makes you uncomfortable is where YOU have to draw the line for your sake. A lot of people are referring to just watching in a group, but they ALL allow one on one interaction, and if he has an account I promise you he's using it for that. But the group sessions you can see without an account- but the girls don't do anything worth while (because that's how they earn their money). Even if it means nothing to the girl (and I'm sure it doesn't other than $$$ and maybe an ego boost) it means something to your guy, because he chooses to believe he's getting her off- as if she isn't faking and/or getting off for every one who pays her enough.
I've learned, you need to decide on your OWN definition of cheating, with lines and boundaries. I used to only worry about physical ("IRL"). never crossed my mind to consider these types of things.
My boyfriend said he did it in all his relationships, sees it as porn, he pays for it so it doesn't count (as if sex with a prostitute wouldn't count cause money is involved) and told so many lies about how the site works when I realized what was going on. But I'm telling you from experience is not something that will go away, if it upsets you now, it'll upset you the next time and it'll just keep building and eat at you because it's the type of thing he can do at work, in the next room, in the bed while you're sleeping. It happened 6 months ago and I couldn't tell you why i took him back. I don't trust him, I consider it cheating and so whenever I look at him all I feel is betrayal. It's probably the most difficult thing to get past in a relationship. But it's not so easy to throw 2 years away. And just because note I question his feelings for me, doesn't mean the root of mine have changed. I've gone from convinced u found the guy I was going to spend the rest of my life with to wishing I'd never met him. And meaning it.
Good luck.
This is something new that I hadn't thought about before, but my initial thoughts are that I might not mind if he was watching a general site other guys
were logged into, even if he was telling
her to do certain sexual things etc
All fantasy and I might even watch it with
him sometimes. But if he was watching and interacting with some 'non-professional' chick and they were sharing a relationship of sorts, sex, laughing, talking and getting to know each other, I'd have a big problem with that. Just that in
itself is emotional cheating to me, not to
mention it could easily lead to a real life
hook up. So if that was happening in my
opinion he migjt as well still be single
since he's not holding anything back. And
maybe he doesn't belong in any real-life
close relationship, or at least for sure NOT with me! That would be, as they say, a deal breaker in my book.
I know this girl as guy. I'm a girl and I must say I'm not completely sure if I would consider it cheating or not. I know the same sexual acts in person would be much worse. Porn watching I can deal with and excessive amounts of that can do a negative toll on a relationship. But the live cam thing I believe can make your perfectly secure partner feel insecure. I think it's to personal some things should be left special between two parners with exception of the couples who feel openly ok with it. I feel if a guy is ok with partaking in this activity than he should be ok with his girl do this same activity and being the one acting as live cam girl. I think most would not approve.
It really depends on how personal the relationship is. If the person in question is just one of many in a chatroom watching this girl, then its basically no different than p*rn. However, if its one on 1, there is interaction going on, and they're a repeat customer, then it's basically cheating, because its going beyond simply watching something to actually having an interpersonal relationship of some sort with this person on the other end of the camera.
If my Girlfriend was logging into chat rooms with other women and watching guys strip and masturbate or something, I honestly wouldn't care. However, if she kept going to the same guys, they had some sort of friendship (even though its based on sex), knew each others names, the interaction was one on 1, or something else like that, then I would have a problem with it.
I don't really know where I would categorize that. P*rn is one thing, but watching it live and having the ability to interact with the person on screen... The girl might be a stranger, but IMO it doesn't really matter, you might as well be sexting with a close friend. Just because there's no physical contact doesn't make it okay. That's just me though, feel free to tell me I'm wrong, I can't help feeling that way.
It's not exactly the same as setting - it's better (for me - I like to treat myself with one of those lovely girls about once every 4 months)/worse (for the girl whose guy is cheating on her with cam girls, because it is cheating).
But yeah just making a point that it is even more cheating than setting, until the sexters make contact with each other of course. It is not trivial.
I don't think of it as cheating, but it is behavior that I personally can not accept. There is no set standard for what is and is not cheating. Some people consider p*rn, or the use of sex toys cheating. Some people are fine with their husbands or wives going to a stripper. I don't see how a web cam is any worse than a stripper. At least with a web cam the stripper is not actually there so if anything, a stripper would be worse.
This is the kind of thing that people need to communicate with their partners, so they know how the other feels.
It annoys me when girls say p*rn is, because seriously if your guy travels/doesn't see you all that often then you better hope he's looking at p*rn because otherwise he probably IS cheating.
But as for webcams, that's actually a kind of a relationship as far as I'm concerned. The girl should know so she can let him know whether she is okay with it. If a guy is with a girl who would like to watch them with him then that I think is okay, it's cyber swinging or cyber threesome really.
But no I think if the girl doesn't know and isn't okay with it if she does know then Its cheating. Granted not as bad, but I still think it is.
It's worse than watching p*rn because it is involving another person.
I don't consider it cheating, because there is no physical contact involved, but it is completely disrespectful, and it shouldn't be accepted.
But not every stupid selfish act in a relationship can be called "cheating" just because you don't like it.
def not cheating.
nothing is actually happening. it is just a release to a fantasy.
my girlfriend has gone to strip clubs with me & I have gone with her. she has girls nights & I have boys nights where we go out to places like that, without each other. we have watched p*rn together including webcam girls/guys. it is a turn on for both of us so much so that we have gone on cam a few times. we have seen things where we both were shocked, amazed & impressed all at once. we also do these things on our own.
This is the real world. You can't say that you live in the real world and everyone else isn't. That's like allowing slavery and saying "Hey, welcome to the real world." People have different standards, and if that is what works for you, then that's what works for you. But that does not mean the rest of us think this is okay.
LOL not everyone thinks like you, buddy. And Confucius is right. Here is an example of poly people pressuring mono people to go their way, claiming they live in a fantasy world if, gasp, we don't want to be with anyone but our partner. If that works for you and your girlfriend, fine, but judging mono people harshly for a legitimate lifestyle that both women and men enjoy makes you seem insecure.
Cheating defined could be a stark contrast from person to person. The general rule of thumb is putting yourself in their place. Would they get mad if you watched someone live on webcam? Personally I'd rather watch a sex tape we made rather than p*rn. Though I do watch p*rn to find someone with the same body type so I can imagine it was her I was watching.
People need to go over what they consider the boundaries because if they don't it could lead to a huge fight.
I find it cheating. Why do you feel the need to see these women on web cam anyways? If you were in a content and happy relationship you wouldn't need to see these women you don't know on web cam. Maybe take a break from the computer, and think about the situation, before you get tempted to do something worse.
NO
It is the same as p*rn & less intimate than a strip club.
Only people who think those things are cheating would think it is cheating. You aren't doing anything physical with another person.
There is not any real connection with that girl in russia columbia or romania.
Ive been a performer and am very straight but I don't care if guys watch because it is NOT REAL. For the people who can't make that disticntion then they have other issues. These people should also not be allowed to have 'violent video games' since they can't distinguish fantasy/internet from reality
It depends on your relationship.
Just friends? open? engaged? married? you didn't say
I'm single and sometimes chat with girls and sometimes go a bit further than chatting on cam
If I were head over heels in love and in a relationship I would no longer have the need to meet other girls in that way
Personally, I view them as being somewhere in between p*rn and a strip club.
And since it does incorporate some elements that are similar to a strip club, I can understand why some women would be uncomfortable / upset about it.
Personally I know its a grey area, but I would say it isn't cheating.
This is down to me classing cheating as requiring physical contact. If we just define it as needing interactivity then where do we draw the line; Webcams? Games? Dreams?
Although I would still consider it to be morally flawed even if I don't see it as cheating.
Watching is different than live interaction. Do they know each other? Are they talking/typing to one another? That I probably would consider cheating. Just watching is watching... and honestly if a relationship is good, and both people are sexually satisfied, there should be no desire to watch or interact with another person.
I watch p*rn because my relationship sucks. The few and rare times in my life that I had an amazing woman in bed, I never felt the need to watch that stuff.
its only cheating if you get caught lmao.some people are just very visual, sexually. if iam not around and my girlfriend needs to get off, I wouldn't mind as long as she doesn't invite guys over and f*** on my bed. that's what I consider crossing the line.
So many people get so obnoxious. Is looking cheating? Is talking cheating? blah blah blah.
Cheating is when any part of the couple actively seeks out another person and/or obtains sex from another person.
Of course then there is the simple fact that if you and your partner did not define other parameters for the definition of cheating then you are not being cheated on.
Watching girls on line is not any different then a p*rn video as most are fake anyways.
if it's one of those websites where the girl has an account and lot's of guys watching I would say it's pushing his luck but generaly no because she's just doing it for the money and he's just paying for p*rn.
if it's one on one like a girl the guy knows her online than yes it would be cheating.
side note: if they are watching p*rn vids that are not live I don't think it's cheating.
Imo that's a gray zone...this is why this stuff should be discussed between couples.
I wouldn't be comfortable web camming live with a girl (regardless of it's a girl I personally know or someone who works for a website), if I have a girlfriend.
To me p*rn is what it is, visual stimulation to help get the job done but there is and will never be contact. Webcam girls on the other hand I would imagine give a more "personal" interaction that should be reserved for the person you are with exclusively and I believe it is entirely wrong. You shouldn't put the person you are with in that kind of uncomfortable and upsetting position. I would think it would breed resentment and self consciousness.
Anything sexual involving him and another women (porn, webcam girls, physical contact with other girls) is cheating in my eyes. He made a commitment; therefore, fun time involving other women is unethical and disrespectful to his girlfriend.
Yes, it is cheating unless you specifically allow that I'n your relationship. I think any guy who tries to convince his girlfriend it's not cheating is either not into his girlfriend or isn't meant to be monogamous.
Whether trivial or big, anything that brings doubts to mind is cheating. There should be commitment in a relationship, not wavering attention. if a person really loved his/her significant other, he/she wouldn't do this. So yes, this is cheating.
If a guy looks at another girl, it isn't cheating. But the guy should not be looking at other girls as much as he wants to or whenever he sees someone he likes, if he is already in a relationship. That is commitment.
What I said above, I said it is cheating, just to a lesser extent.
Whether or not the girl has doubts is not the key here. It is whether or not anyone cheats. It seems we disagree on the definition of cheating.
My mind only fantasizes/wonders about dating other people instead if I'm unhappy or feeling neglected. Sometimes it's reparable, but it's usually not. That's why if I had a boyfriend who insisted on webcam girls, strip clubs, etc. I would know he either wasn't into me or was non-monogamous and thus not a good match for me.
as long as the viewer finds web cam sites same as other p*orn sites and doesn't register to them/won't start sending them messages trought chat myself i don't see it as cheating, but it's more up to the partner what he/she thinks about it
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