I fell for him but am I being played? Do I call or wait for him?

This guy and I started dating almost a month ago but ended it cause he said he was still in love with his ex and needed some time to figure out his issues. Well after that we were hanging out all the time. He said that he was starting to fall for me. He seemed to spend all his time with me and slowly stopped texting her when we were together. All signs pointing to that he was into me more than her. But there were some suspicious things like him saying he was gonna spend the night at his moms because he had to paint her shed in the middle of the night. He was hiding things and I had proof and I confronted him about it. I wasn't mad but just wanted honesty and wanted to know if we were gonna be anything. Since I have confronted him he has been pissed at me. He says he can't trust me, he doesn't want me around and "at the current moment" he doesn't know about us. He is a great guy and I really believe he will go far in life but I know that this is no way to start a relationship when I try to get answers and he turns it around on me.

He told me last night that we were gonna hang out after he got back with hanging with someone else (which I can only assume it was his ex). Instead he said he didn't want to see me and blew me off. When I called to talk to him about it, he said he would talk to me tomorrow about it all cause he needed a clear head. He has been very careful to keep his ex and me apart as well. I showed up to his work one night and she was there and he quickly tried to get me out of there. Then one time she called on the phone while I was with him and he called her mom to make me think it wasn't her even though I knew. I didn't say anything.

I know he still has a thing with his ex but I really feel like we can be better than they were. We seem to fit really well together and we both have so much fun when we are together. He knows my feelings and knows I want him to choose me. He knows that I value honesty.

He said we would talk today. Should I call or wait for him to call? I don't want to lose him but I might already have. Or am I just being played while he figures things out with his ex? Do I turn my phone off to him and stay the hell away? Or do I just wait to see if he will chase me?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • "This guy and I started dating almost a month ago but ended it cause he said he was still in love with his ex and needed some time to figure out his issues."

    So that's what he did, right? Took some time to figure out his issues?

    "Well after that we were hanging out all the time. He said that he was starting to fall for me. He seemed to spend all his time with me and slowly stopped texting her when we were together. All signs pointing to that he was into me more than her."

    Oh really? What a surprise! Look, he's trying to get back with his ex, who wants time apart. He's got plenty of free time to spend with you, miss. Plenty of free time.

    "But there were some suspicious things like him saying he was gonna spend the night at his moms because he had to paint her shed in the middle of the night. He was hiding things and I had proof and I confronted him about it. I wasn't mad but just wanted honesty and wanted to know if we were gonna be anything."

    And I'm sure that once you brought these things to his attention, he calmly explained them in a rational manner. Oh, wait, what's that?

    "Since I have confronted him he has been pissed at me. He says he can't trust me, he doesn't want me around and "at the current moment" he doesn't know about us."

    He spun it around on you and made it your fault? Of course he did. Because that's what manipulative a**holes DO when they're caught in a lie.

    "He is a great guy and I really believe he will go far in life but I know that this is no way to start a relationship when I try to get answers and he turns it around on me."

    Then stop. You know better. Why are you doing this?

    "I know he still has a thing with his ex but I really feel like we can be better than they were. We seem to fit really well together and we both have so much fun when we are together. He knows my feelings and knows I want him to choose me. He knows that I value honesty."

    He knows you value honesty, but he doesn't CARE. You've been fooled into thinking that you've got something real, but the only thing that's real here is the fact that you're being played, hard, by a guy who doesn't even want to be with you in the first place. If he thought for a SECOND that you'd be better for him than his ex, he'd drop her like a ten ton rock. It'd be that easy.

    But you're being played. And you're probably not the first girl that his ex has had to contend with. Think on that.

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  • Why do you think some guy who won't leave his ex alone, lies to you and gets mad at you when you ask for the truth is someone worth wasting your time over?

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