How can you move on and still feel the same way ?

went through a break up after being together two years and only breaking up twice now, well he said he was not coming back not giving me another chance and that if I wanted him to come around I needed to get my life together and be me build on to who I am what I want in life and move on . The thing is I am in love with him I know what love is I know the feeling the meaning and its there for the first time and honestly all I want is to know exactly why he just walked away and to know if he could ever just come back because I truly just want him back.

do you just move on or what cause I want to hang on but I remember him saying its done but he said that before and came back a week later .. I don't know what to do really cause moving on isn't easy and I don't want another relationship I don't want to have someone else because no one can replace his place in my heart..


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds to me like you did everything you can for this guy. He might feel like a failure and a waste of space, almost like he doesn't deserve your time. But skip the hypothetical nonsense. If the guy broke it off with you he's saying he's not there for you, and regardless of how you try to get that back, it WILL be a waste of your time. Not because he's a bad person or anything, but because the relationship is likely done - afterall he made it clear he wants no further communication. I don't think he did that because of you either, I think he blocked the communication because his feelings are either all-or-none.. Meaning if he has you around, he feels feeble and might fall back into a relationship with you, even though he may feel like the relationship is wrong (The relationship, not you).

    It sounds like a really tough moment. Maybe take some time to try and break that bond of love, I know that's probably the last advice you want to hear; especially with how your heart is probably hurting. But if this guy is going to give it a chance, follow what he asked but in a different light. By him saying "there's no second chance" he's wanting you to really shine and take control of your life. To grow independent and successful - and trust me, whether you can see it or not, he will be able to identify that you have changed. I can't say whether it's enough for him to overcome the reason(s) "why" he left this time... Meaning, I don't know if it's enough to get him back. But if you don't stop trying to live for this love, especially towards a guy who doesn't have it back (either due to pain, or otherwise)... Well.. you're basically not living at all. The depression will be worse, you'll lose sight of the things that matter, like family, friends, goals, ambitions, and so forth.

    Just ask yourself what you can do before the end of the day...? Maybe you've been fighting to get back to college or get a new car? Maybe you've been looking for work? Just keep geared towards your life. It may not remedy the pain but by being busy it will definitely help.

    P.s. In all of this, I guess I'm saying "You never really move on, you just separate the control that love has on your life FROM your life. That way you can still love someone but have control enough to take care of important dates and events, like a birthday party or a business trip, the things that shouldn't be neglected due to your relationship issues"

    • almost sounds like yo know me and the whole situation. I feel like I can't do anything right now all I want to do is cry I'm broken inside and its not just going to go away I can't just break that bond of love because I truly am inlove with him I have never felt this way for anyone and I i feel like since he has my heart that it may be broken but he will always have it. No one can take his place in my heart even if I were to move on id still happily take him back if I had the chance to .do I just

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    • Well, the way I see it... Is you could go the path of loving this guy until he comes around, but that would be a long, lonely, miserable road. Or you could sit around and waste your life, sulking that you don't have him... Or you could take the path of growing - where you try to fill your life with whatever you want (being busy, having fun, etc) so that you can live and truly love "your" life (and your choices!) It's like nourishing who you are when your having a rough time in life.

    • Thank you for explaining it to me

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What Guys Said 3

  • The process is slow and painful, but it makes you want better for yourself, it makes you choose better partners, and it makes you respect yourself more, so don't want something that walked away from someone that would never of walked away from them, because this proves your destined to more than he can offer you, there's a reason your not compatible, and there's a reason your going to need better, so go through the process, because better things wait once its over,x

  • You feel how every person who breaks up with a long-term relationship feels. It certainly won't be easy, but you will eventually get over it. Now is the time to focus on 'you'. Resist the temptation to contact him. Learn from the mistakes that you made, and hopefully become a better person for it.

  • Idk. Maybe you should just give him a lot of time. Work on yourself. There is nothing wrong with being single, or even casually dating. If a person completely rejects you - then move on. Don't waste your time trying to win back someone who isn't willing to put in that same kind of effort. Basically this guy has told you that this relationship is a wrap. He hedged his bets by saying "If you want him to come around”…He’s saying that he doesn’t want you now, but should you “raise your personal level” (become more successful, hotter,etc) he trying to reserve a space in your heart. As a guy, I’m telling that is complete B.S.


What Girls Said 1

  • I know it's hard. Not sure if it's your first relationship, but it takes a lot of time. You will get there. You can't sit around and dwell on it, you need to stay busy. I know how hard it can be. You need to let go of false hope and work on yourself. You seem young. There's no rush. Try to see where your relationship went wrong and try to work on that for the next relationship or possibly a future relationship with your ex, just don't hold on to that hope because it may not happen. Life is like this. It's very unpredictable.


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