Guys, when is your girl "too emotional" to the point you'd break up with her?

I'm pretty sure my boyfriend broke up with me because he thought I was too emotional. I'm not sure. We weren't feeling emotionally connected so I tried to be REALLY open with him... maybe too soon? I told him all of my deep dark secrets and some of my saddest/darkest thoughts and he dumped me the next day.

I essentially said I was afraid to graduate because I was afraid to lose the community that I have in college and that I might become a no one in a big city

I said I felt like he didn't need me/want to tell me personal things (which he never did)

I also said I missed my best friend who joined the peace corps and wouldn't be available to talk for 2.5 years.

Throughout the relationship whenever I got emotional... he'd call or show up on my campus and "have a talk" with me about what was going on. It was never very empathetic... more that I should look at the positives in my life and not dwell on the negatives. Idk, sometimes it seemed like thought my problems were HUGE problems... most of the time they were just concerns or I was venting.

I know he doesn't have a lot of experience with girls, but is that really enough to leave a girl for? I feel like most girls complain about a lot more. I'm about to graduate and I'm nervous, of course, but I didn't think that warranted a break up...

What do you think? How much is too much for a girl to be emotional/open with you about her feelings?


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What Guys Said 2

  • You usually don't want to tell him all your deepest, darkest, and saddest secrets all at once. Those are things that should be told little by little and not out of the blue either.

    I recently had a discussion with one of my friends about this very thing. It's not a good idea to go in and accuse someone of hiding things from you. Yes, in a relationship, you should be able to be vulnerable with each other, but for some people it takes longer than others. Likewise if things start changing in the relationship. Something may be glaringly obvious to you, but to the other person, it may not be. You can't take a "WHY CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT'S WRONG HERE" type of attitude.

    If you want to know what's up in someone's life, you want to show them that you are interested in their life, that you want to be able to help them if and when they need it. "Hey, I've noticed x, y, and z have been different. Is everything okay?" "Why do you feel this way about x, y, and z?"

    • I mean, we had been together for almost 2 months. It didn't seem too soon. Seemed like too late really haha. He was never able to be vulnerable with me. I guess you're right, maybe I shouldn't have accused him... but we had already had the "I've noticed x, y, z" convo and nothing changed with him... I was at a loss

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    • Even so, two months is still very soon to share all your deepest, darkest secrets with a guy. Especially with a guy like that.

    • Wow, that's crazy. I guess I've always dated more open guys.

  • ...if it looks like you can't handle your own... it's too emotional.

    • yeah, but how does a guy tell the difference b/t a girl just talking to tell you what she's feeling vs the fact that she just can't handle it?

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