Relationship Problems- Pretty please give your opinion! I'm sorry its really long :/

Where to start...Okay, I have been going out with this guy that I honestly have come to love for a few months now. He is usually a great boyfriend, except when he gets mad at me. Recently, on Instagram I liked this picture of one of my guy friends shirtless and my boy friend blew up on me. He called me a selfish bitch for liking the picture and told me to stop whoring around. I do not cuss freely, so he knows what he said really hurt me. I just apologized over and over and unfollowed the guy on Instagram and told my boyfriend how sorry I was and I didn't mean to upset him.

But apparently it really upset him because later that night he got high with his friends(some of whom were girls), which I asked him not to do because he made a rule that I couldn't smoke with any guys so I said he couldn't either. Anyways, later he sent a shirtless picture of him in his boxers to one of the girls while he was high and was asking her for naked pictures. He told me later that night that he did that and it really hurt me.

So for the beginning of this week I told him I would need time to get over it before we could keep dating. And he apologized for it a ton of times and said he didn't mean what he said and he overreacted and etc. So he was all apologetic and trying to get close to me this week but he got a little upset with me for not returning his affection. I just didn't feel up to it.

Then, I refollowed the other guy on Instagram and my boyfriend saw it and freaked out on me again, so I called him and told him that I was tired of all the fighting and I still loved him but I couldn't deal with it right now and broke it off. The second I got off the phone I felt bad and regretted it and cried but at the same time I was a little relieved. Then he started texting me being all offended and mad and I said that I was already regretting what I said. So he told me I would have to prove to him that I wanted him back and all day he has been giving me the cold shoulder when I try to talk to him and is telling me that I'm not proving anything to him.

***What should I do? I love being with him when we aren't fighting but we fight like 4/7 days a week now and its so frustrating lately. Am I wrong for thinking he's being an ass? I Haven't cheated on him before but I have flirted with another guy before like sending winky faces and saying I'd love to go to the beach with him whenever I'm single and my boyfriend saw those messages and got furious but still stayed with me. I don't know if its worth it to stay with him anymore. I feel like I'll be sad if we break up and super jealous of him with other girls (thats the major thing) if we break up. BUt this relationship has so much jealousy already and fighting, so I don't know what I should do. I don't want to break up with him and miss him a lot and then try to get back together and he not want to. But I don't want to keep fighting and stuff. What do you think about all this?

Any and all answers would be greatly appreciated! thanks(:


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You two are in a power struggle and neither really wants to submit to the others' wishes. It may be that you're both stubbornly self-reliant, or you're just not ready for a submissive loving.

    Bottom line: It's a toxic relationship for both of you. Bail.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I think you made one mistake too many (and so did he, for that matter), so you can't get back with him. He was really inconsiderate, and despite you being able to forgive him, he finds it difficult to forgive you. I know this is hard to hear, but that isn't the right relationship for you. You need to find someone that doesn't get jealous and talks things out instead of exploding, someone who is considerate of your feelings and listens to your problems.

    Let me tell you how it should have been handled.

    First of all, you shouldn't have liked that picture of a shirtless guy friend, because that made him feel inadequate for you and it made him feel that you might have something going on with a guy friend. But on the other hand, you should have trust in a relationship, so he shouldn't be so angry about it. So you need to compromise when this happens. You already compromised, so okay.

    He shouldn't have insulted you like that. If he was a gentleman, no matter what, he wouldn't call you something that extreme. I don't curse either, but for him to do that, knowing that you don't like it, was very hurtful.

    He shouldn't have gotten high with his friends. Do you really want to be with someone like that? But since he was like that, and if he said that you couldn't smoke with your guy friends, it would only be right for you to have made the same restrictions for him. He shouldn't have done what he did with his girl friend, but since he already did, and he told you about it, you needn't have worried. Because he told you about it.

    You refollowed that guy on instagram, despite already knowing that it would make him mad. You reopened an old wound instead of fixing it. You lost your chance. And you broke it off instead of dealing with it and fixing it. Next time, think before you act, otherwise you will regret it, like you did this time.

    You shouldn't have to prove anything to him. That isn't how love works. If he truly loved you, then he would have taken you back and worked things out.

    You already have so much jealousy and fighting. Do you really want to get back together? Are you willing to work on your relationship issues instead of just going through this again? If so, then by all means, get back together with him.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yeah, I don't think it's going to get any better. If you're already fighting like this and manipulating each other and clobbering each other with ham-handed control techniques and you have only been together a few months, I really don't see it getting any better with time. You guys are just going to keep messing with each other and you'll get sucked into this ridiculous, dramatic, never ending cycle of breaking up and getting back together. It's going to get really old really fast. It sounds like it has gotten stupid already. If you set out to "prove" yourself to this guy, you had better be ready to do it a lot because once he figures out that he's the one with the power, he's going to insist on it. The idea is to like someone as much as he likes you- the idea is to meet on equal footing. You're already upside down on this whole thing.

    Cut your losses, let all this be someone else's problem. You'll feel like sh*t for a minute and then you won't anymore. That means *drop him*, that means you don't hang out and text him or whatever. It's done- stick a fork in it. If you learn to do this now, it will serve you well for the rest of your life.

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