Boyfriend doesn't want to spend time with me

So I'm practically living with my boyfriend of three years for eight months and everything has been fine until a few months ago. He acts like me staying in his room bothers him now but he's really subtle about it. I know he's busy with ROTC and school work but I'm busy with my school work too. I leave in the morning and come back in the kat afternoon. He says that I'm always there when he's there. He won't do anything with me besides just ordering food and watching tv. I constantly ask to go and do things and he always says he's busy but he'll go and hang out with his friends all night. He always says it's because I see him more than his friends do but just because we're in the same room together does not mean we're spending time together but he doesn't see it that way. He makes me feel like I am suffocating him but I don't why or how. What do I to make him desire to spend more time with me like he used to?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Get your own place. No, really- and I'm not being mean. Unless you moved in with him on purpose after a deliberate talk about cohabitating, he probably feels like you oozed your way into his domain without his permission. I'm not saying he literally believes you tricked him or whatever, but I can tell you that it might FEEL that way to him. It's how I felt when it happened to me. I felt resentful and angry because my area, my space- wasn't mine anymore. And it made me feel worse that I had to feel like that about a person I cared about. I loved that guy, but I wasn't ready for that level of commitment. Maybe he isn't either but doesn't feel like he can be candid with you. Maybe he wants you out of his house but not out of his life.

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    • thank you that's what I'll probably do.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You should just leave him if he's really making you uncomfortable.

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What Girls Said 2

  • i think you should be gone more during the time he is home,he is taking you for granted and you should go hang out with your friends,watch how he changes his tune,u have to do it for at least a week to get him to notice and don't say anything about it,just start disappearing ,he will then realize how he misses you and realize how it must make you feel when he does it...

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    • thanks I feel like he's starting to take me for granted. So I'll try disappearingfor a while.

    • it will help

  • oh my god... that is horrible ! He shouldn't be treating you like that at alll now I know you want to hear all about how you can make things better but honey unfortunately I don't see how this could work out unless you left out some major details! Imagine you get married and have kids. He's not gonna want you around then?! If I were you I'd want a guy who loves to have me around as much as possible!

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