Writing a goodbye email to ex boyfriend good or bad idea?

Its been nearly 3 weeks since we broke up with no contact. I was thinking of sending him an email saying all the good times we had together and saying that I agree with his decision (eve though I want him back) I just don't want to leave it this wa. I'm not going to bg or plead just wish him the best, do you think this is a good idea? He seems happy without me but I can't tell if it's just a front or not? We were together nearly two years he said he needed time to think and wasn't sure if he wanted a relationship now (all started when he got a car and was going out every night) he did really care before I know he did. I just want to end on good terms and maybe be friends or get back together on day in the future. Do I put goodbye at the end? Is there anything I should put in the email? Please help, thank-you!

Thankyou for your advice, when we broke up I managed to get him to promise to talk about it after the holidays (we are 18) which would be 3 weeks after the break up and no contact (because he said he wanted space) should I contact him or just leave it? If yes what should I say? Do you think he's really over it now? thanks again!


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a really bad idea - but you're probably going to do it anyway, since girls seem to need this sort of thing far more than guys do.

    The only advice I can give you is, please don't do the typical girl stupid thing of hiding what you want.

    Don't tell him you're fine with the break up if you're not. Don't tell him you agree with it, when you secretly want to get back with him.

    Even if the odds are slim that he does regret it, and he wishes he could get you back, if you're not honest, you're guaranteeing that you'll never get what you want.

    • Re:update - Just leave it. As a guy, he most likely doesn't want to talk about what went on, he doesn't need closure, and won't understand your need for closure.

      If he doesn't contact you to bring it up, that should be a sign that he doesn't want to bring it up, promise or no promise.

      Just ... let it go. Find someone new and stop obsessing about this one.

    • Thank-you for the advice, I guess your right. So there's really nothing I can do? Do guys ever regret or change there minds? (I know I shouldn't be thinking like that but it would be good to know a guys opinion)

    • I've never known a guy to - I may have read about it a couple of times on this website, but to be honest, some of the questions posted here often seem far fetched to me.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Bad idea. Just leave it alone.

    • Thank-you for your advice, do guys ever regret breaking up?

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    • Is there anyway of showing him that things could be different? Is there any point of talking to him? Or a way of still being friends at some point? Sorry there's a lot of questions thanks again!

    • I'll be honest, that kind of stuff always backfires and lets you look needy and desperate. The best revenge is moving on to a better relationship and being happy without him.

What Girls Said 2

  • i would leave it alone..he said goodbye to you so don't send him anything,in my experience its better to just have total nc..he wants to party without you,let him,no need for all that mushy stuff right now,im sure he knows how you feel,u didn't end it ,he did.he needs to get it all out of his system and by then you will have found a more suitable man..I know its hard to imagine that now,i broke up with my ex 5 months ago because he was a douche bag,liar and a cheater, he apologized 4 1/2 months later..at that point I didn't want it.

    • Thank-you for your advice he was my first serious relationship so I feel like I need to make it work as much as I can but I guess it's up to him now. I know I shouldn't think like this but do you think he will ever come back?

    • I had hoped mine would but he is very selfish and can't commit to any one girl for too long..there will be another more suitable guy...just be patient

  • He promised you that you guys would talk about it, so the ball is in his court. That means no, you don't contact him. If you do it will only reinforce in his head that he made the right decision because it was space that he wanted.

    • Yeah that's very true thank-you for the advice. Do you think it could be just a phase? He seems to be living single life but I just want to ask why we couldn't try to trust each other more and give each other more freedom but I guess there's no point? He was very controlling so I guess will never change? In your experience have they ever contacted you and how long? Thanks again!

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    • We are both 18, he's always been in relationships previously never stayed single for long after relationships. If this is a phase do you think he will contact me again or just find someone new? I'm glad everything worked out for you in the end :) hopefully there's someone out there for me, its just I really loved him

    • You're both 18, so just starting your adult life. And yes, that means he wants to see what else is out there, meaning other women. Most guys don't really want to start looking for a forever partner until their mid to late twenties, and some not until their thirties or forties. There's really no way to tell if he will come back or not, the important thing is that you aren't living your life just waiting for that to happen. I think you should focus on you, and meeting new people as well.