SO done with this. I need opinions on what to do!

This is long, but bear with me!

I have a "friend" who I literally did everything for this year. She found out she needed surgery, I got her a card/gift. She needed alcohol for her birthday, so as a gift I got her LCBO cards. She found out she couldn't play softball anymore, I decorated a softball with her name and gave it to her with Jennie Finch's book and a Blue Jays magazine. She has given me nothing in return. I did a lot for her and all I want in return is her time. I just want her to spend time with me because she always makes me laugh. Instead?

Instead, she would rather have me text her than talk face-to-face. She always says "you've done too much for me and I don't know how to pay you back" when honestly all I want is time to actually talk to her. I just want time to be one on one with her because we always share so many laughs and funny moments. I asked her to go for lunch with me the other day, and she said "no I will not go. you have done too much for me" and it is SO frustrating because I really just want her to come with me so that we can spend time together, I don't consider it "doing something for her" and it's frustrating that she won't see it my way.

How do I tell her I want to spend time with her? How do I tell her that in return for everything I've done I REALLY just want to spend time with her? She doesn't get it and it is extremely frustrating. How do I explain it to her? Please help!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • When she says "You've done too much for me.", I would respond with "That's what friends do and friends also HANG OUT! So let's f***ing hang out!". It sounds like an excuse to me though. A verrrrrry poor one at that.

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    • I was thinking that it was an excuse too. How do I tell her I literally just want time with her though? Without seeming demanding. I mean...I did SO much for her and all I want in return is time. That's all.

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    • You're so right! I never thought of that. I DO have that right because I did so many things for her. Thank you so much!

    • Glad to help!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Tell her everything you said in your paragraph that starts with "Instead...". She is being thoughtful to not be a burden on you, reassure her that she's not being a burden and that you just want to hang out, laugh, etc.

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What Girls Said 3

  • look up what a martyr is..i have been one so I've been told,stop doing so much..people feel bad because they may not be able to do things in return and feel guilty ,even if its spending time..they may feel like you are buying their time...and are obligated..just stop and they will flock around u

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  • You are obsessing! That's right! Think about it. she is not returning your kindness, yet she acknowledges your efferts. You can't control this one. Make your peace with her and let go

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  • Just say, " hey, do you want to hang out on the weekend" or what ever day you choose to put.

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