Why would a woman deny that she actually has feelings for a guy?

Ok, I dated this girls a few weeks back. Recently we began hanging out again. She shows all the signs of interest, body language, planning future events together, etc., and she even told me she was physically attracted to me, but she keeps saying that she only wants to be friends. She knows I like her, and from her actions, I'm 99% certain she likes me, but keeps saying she isn't and only wants to be friends. Why would she say this? Commitment issues, insecurity, something else?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You say you dated this girl for a short time? There's probably a reason why you're not still together, and if you look the same now as you did then, I'd hazard a guess that physical attraction isn't the important factor here.

    I would imagine that she discovered something about you in the time while you were dating that made her reconsider whether she actually wanted a romantic relationship with you. I have a number of friends that I think are pretty darn attractive on a physical level, but I would never seriously consider dating them because of various incompatibilities in our personalities or values.

    Granted, if she actually does feel this way, it's pretty misleading of her to tell you that she thinks you're attractive and to otherwise flirt with you.

    Also, since you seem to be pretty convinced that she actually IS into you, you might be interested to know that in friendships between men and women, it happens pretty frequently that the male half has your mindset while the female half feels more platonic. This has been my experience in talking among my friends, and a study to this effect was published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships last year ( link Seems like kind of a "well, duh" conclusion to me, but maybe not to others.


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • She could be afraid of commitment. Women hardly ever know what they want so maybe she doesn't want to tell you something that could probably get your hopes up if she decides it's not what she wants anymore. But she also could be a tease and just trying to get attention.


What Guys Said 1

  • I find that a lot of women want to be liked, but when it comes to liking someone they deny it due to their wanting of attention. So she wants you to like her but doesn't want to show any form of what would be seen as "submission" to other people. She'd rather be told how great she is without having to give back to you.


Recommended myTakes