Why would a guy do this?

I dated this guy for about 8 months ,we both fell hard for each other he broke up with me said he wasn't the right guy for me I deserve better. I haven't seen or spoken to him in 6 months, I ran into him at a friends party he was drinking told me he still loves me & misses me but doesn't want a relationship with anyone . Which is fine I'm not looking to get back with him we agreed to be friends. He started calling & texting me all week small talk . Then suddenly he text not a good idea talking again lets leave it where it was. What is with this guy ? We were talking everything was fine then act like I did something wrong & he hates me anyone have an idea what it could be? It's not a sex thing either we never slept together.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The run in at the party was an unintended run in for both of you. Him being under the influence does cloud things a bit. I can't be sure if he was just trying to not make you feel rejected by telling you he still loves you or what...?

    Seems that if he did in fact really still "love" you, he would not have stopped dead in his tracks while texting you like he did. It sounds like what "love" he may have had for you was not very deep anytime during the original 8 month relationship. It was most likely the "endorphins" that get stirred up in any new relationship that was responsible for what he is now referring to as "love". This apparently is not happening in his brain anymore and therefore he really don't currently have that same feeling that he thought was "love". The best I can conclude is that the relationship did not get well rooted in any lasting way that normally would take place during the initial dating period, had there been much more you two enjoyed about one another.. ..like more things in common you would love to do together..

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What Guys Said 4

  • Well, he can't seem to make up his mind, can he?

    Think about this for the future.

    You are 36-45. Women usually have life figured out between 20-25, men about 5 years later.

    This is when life deepens and becomes more meaningful; we "grow up."

    It appears that he has not gotten there yet.

    This is meaningful.

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  • It sounds like he probably just doesn't know what he quite wants, or if he does, it contradicts another desire of his or he thinks it's a bad idea. He sounds like he has a big conscience, maybe he's still affected by the break up and wanted to talk to you more, but realized it was too tough for him?

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  • Dated for 8 months with no sex and you're in either your 30's or 40's? I'd have to know the reasoning behind this to answer this question more accurately. Are you saving yourself for marriage? Did he want sex and you didn't? Did you and he didn't? Sex is a huge factor in every adult relationship so the fact that you two didn't sleep together during the 8 months together tells me this could be a huge factor in your problem.

    So far all I have is maybe he wanted to have sex but you weren't up to that so he made up an excuse (though he liked you enough to consider trying it again), he genuinely feels so worthless that he actually thinks he's not good enough for you (sounds pathetic to me), or perhaps he hasn't figured out what he wants yet and is considering other women as well. This is all I could come up with at the moment given the limited information you've given us so far.

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  • this guy is f***in gay... is what I think.

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