Does he find me attractive or was I just a warm body?

A guy approached me at a bar the other day and we had a pleasant interaction so I friended him on Facebook the next day. He invited me to join him at a bar that night and I agreed. He was extremely flirtatious and I flirted back and we went back to his place. We fooled around (no sex though) and I slept over. It was great. I wasn't trying to make it a relationship- I knew it was a casual thing- and yet I hoped we'd repeat it. The next week I sent him a message that I was in the mood to get together and he sounded up for it after work. He came by my place during a break and we chatted a bit. After work I asked if he was still up for company and he said "Sure". Not the most enthusiastic response, I thought. I went over and we repeated our fun of the previous week and both (as far as I could tell, anyway) enjoyed it a lot. The next night I sent him a "thanks for a fun night" message and playfully asked him to be in touch. I didn't get a response. Because this was on Facebook, I can see that he read it. Is it weird that he didn't flirt back or at least say something non-committal, like "cool"? This worries me and makes me feel like maybe he doesn't find me attractive and I was just a warm body to satisfy a need that one time, and he just agreed the second time because, I guess, who turns down a bit of fooling around? I would sure like to be asked next time. But I'm pretty insecure about it and hope I didn't to something wrong. Also, he did say I was beautiful, but he was getting close know, at that point, and I'm not sure he was in his right mind LOL Also, both times we were together, he asked to take a picture of my breasts- why?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He wanted something casual. Deep inside you want something more. He wanted to hook up with you, no strings attached. He was using you to fulfill sexual desires and assumed that's what you wanted too. But you don't. And a**hole guys do this all the time and girls like you fall for it over and over again. (I mean come on, why else would he want pictures of your breasts?) Be thankful you didn't have sex. That would've really bummed you out once you realized that he "only wanted a warm body".

    Please learn from this and move on and forget it. Again, I can tell that you deep inside want more than something casual (otherwise you wouldn't take the time to write this). So be careful with who you interact with and mess around with. There are tons of guys who just "want a warm body" but there are also guys who genuinely care and will want to stay in touch. Use this as a learning experience to help you decide which one is which in the future.

    • Thanks for the response. It's hard to hear :/ I guess I take some comfort in knowing he found me attractive enough to want to hook up with me in the first place... Why did e want the picture? To keep like a trophy, to show off, to **** *** to later? I had so much fun, so I don't regret it, but I am bummed it wasn't good enough for him to seek out a repeat :(

    • Honestly, he probably wanted a picture for all the reasons you said.. But besides that, here's the problem with your thinking; "I'm not good enough for him to seek out and repeat". Why are you judging YOUR worth based off some guy who obviously doesn't care and just uses girls for something casual? I get that its fun. But you're kidding yourself if you say you ONLY wanted something casual (Otherwise, again, you wouldn't be posting this). So many girls get lost in your line of thinking. That

    • you mess around first, and then if you're worth it, you'll be pursued for something more. I can tell you this, if things are the other way around it will be MUCH more enjoyable. You can't let scenarios like this upset you and blame it on yourself or your worth. Scenarios like this will never leave you feeling accepted or "worth it" because the guys who start them are never going to give that attention you want. If that makes sense.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You shouldn't worry about anything because he's only up for sex.

    Find a new guy.


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