Back peddaling ex BF?

I broke up with my ex a while ago on good terms. We only dated for 3 months, but we didn't have time to commit to a relationships, so I initiated a break up, and he agreed.

A few months after our break up he expressed interest in getting back together, I told him I'd be up for it, if he had more time to devote to me, but he didn't so we decided to stay friends. I suggested we could have a friends with benefits if he made the time. He was ecstatic about the idea, but never made the time for that either.

Recently he starts talking to me again and flirting with me talking about how he "wished" things could have been different between us. I told him once again If he wanted to get back together, he'd have to devote more time to our relationship. He then tells me he has a girlfriend, but continues to flirt with me.

Now, I'm over him, and I have been since the breakup. But I don't understand why he keeps talking about getting back together? I never thought he was that interested in having a relationship with me because he never made the time to be with me. We only saw each other 3 maybe 4 times a month while we were dating because of his schedule. And we rarely talked after the break up. I honestly forget about him until he texts me about missing me.

I don't understand why he's over romanticizing our relationship or why he says he misses me so much. Its not as if we actually got to know each other or build anything significant.

Should I cease contact with this guy? I mean I don't mind being friends with him. But its starting to make me uncomfortable about how fondly he's talking about our relationship. I feel like nothing happened between us for him to feel so nostalgic about "us".

Its also all he wants to talk about, which also makes me uncomfortable. Its never, "How are you doing?" or "I bought a hat today". Its only about our practically non-existent relationship. AND HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. Why is he talking to me like this and about this stuff?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He sounds like an all talk and no action kind of guy. Probably at some point in his life he'll buy a uniform from a surplus store and talk about how he earned medals in combat.

    You on the other hand are something else; you sound much more lucid that I would normally expect from someone your age. You appear to be intelligent, analytical, and mature, so the question I have is why you are even asking about what the right action would be? You clearly already know but I think this is your way of expressing some insecurity. Do the right thing and feel proud of yourself.

    Regarding FWB situations; I completely disagree with anyone being used in this way. There are recent studies published that show a direct link between the number of partners and likelihood of successful marriage. You aren't the one getting the "B" in that kind of arrangement.

    • lol that's funny

      I don't know what you mean, when you refer to me as having a lucid nature. It doesn't sound good. I also don't know what I have to be insecure about since I've stated that I'm pretty indifferent towards the guy. My question was, what dose he want from me? Does he want money, maybe its a fetish of his to talk about past relationships?

      I don't have any hang ups about sex or sexual relationships. I don't believe in marriage. Thanks for the answer though, I'll block him.

    • Lucid is a $2 word that essentially means "aware of what is going on around you". I say that because you appear to be the opposite of the numerous air heads one runs into on this site. So yes in fact, that was a compliment. :)

    • lol thank you and thanks for the advice. I told him to stop contacting me and blocked his number

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • He's playing a game,just to get a rise out of you.And your "relationship" was hardly anything I would call an actual relationship.Clearly,he always kept you in arms length away from him while you guys was playing games then,and is still doing so now.But part of that is because you have in the past entertained the idea of getting back together...TWICE.Once I guess he was talking about a relationship,and the second time...talking about being FWBs (which is a serious downgrade to your own dignity since he treated you unfairly the first time).So I'm guessing he thinks he can continue to come to you,and you will entertain his nonsense talk.He likes the attention.Because if someone can agree to getting back with someone who mistreated them,he probably thinks he can be running this game on you,and you will eat every one of his false words.

    I think you shouldn't even give him the time of day.I would take to ignoring him right about now and live your life.Its disgusting and dishonest of him to be doing this and he knows he has a GF.The way I see it,you dodged a bullet anyway.Good thing you guys broke up because he is one shady mofo.

    Good luck.

    • Wouldn't he actually have to put himself in the picture to play games? These are just random text messages.

      I suggested the FWB because we had both gotten tested/bought a sh*t ton of condoms and I wanted the sex. There was no ulterior motive on "rekindling" on my behalf. I don't have any hangups towards sex or sexual relationships.

      Your point still stands. What ever he is doing is weird and doesn't make any sense, and it isn't worth any attention. Guy is a weirdo.

  • Yeah I would cease contact... it sounds like he wants to keep you on a leash. :/

    • For me to be on a leash, I would still have to be interested in him and/or hoping to get back with him. Which I'm not.

      IDK what he wants, That doesn't mean I have to keep talking to him lol. The vote seems unanimous to block his number.

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