Should I worry about his ex?

Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years and have a beautiful 2 month old son together.. He seems happy, sex life is great, hardly argue and we talk about our future and having more kids. But he has a ex girlfriend, they were friends for ten yrs... Dated for about 7 months, he was very much in love with her. They broke up and 3 months later we got together. I knew they still texted but recently I went through his phone and seen they have been texting each other our whole relationship.. I'm fine with them just being friends but she is very flirty, even telling him she still loved him.. He would say it occasionally back.. I did notice from the time I became pregnant his texts were very short, he didn't say he loved her anymore, he wouldn't respond to most her texts.. But she just keeps on texting and calling she won't stop... He doesn't know I go through his phone or even know about her so I can't confront him... She lives in another state.. So they never see each other.. But I don't feel comfortable with them talking knowing he loved her very much at one point.. He tells me he loves me and I'm beautiful but not as much as he used to tell her.. I went out the other night and seen they were on the phone for 35 mins.. I'm just not sure what to do, does he still love her? Am I wasting my time Because his heart is there? Am I overreacting? The fact that they grew up together and friends for a long time before hooking up ( they were never in a actual relationship but they dated long distance) I don't know if its just hard for them to stop talking because of their friendship or if they still have feelings for each other... Please help.. Thank you


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  • Wait- so was he telling her he loved her when you were both dating at one point before you were pregnant? :O Gosh! :L Well that was bad D: But now it sounds like he's chosen you... or at least mostly. If he's not reciprocating her romantic views, then he has chosen you :) But I would DEFINITELY have talked to him a LONG TIME AGO about this D: Talk to him the next chance you get some alone time with him, because that sounds like it really needs sorting out D: Especially if you have a baby coming, he cannot be all hesitant or less loving towards you or even possibly leave you in such circumstances D:

    Try to approach the topic slightly casually- not with anger as that will lead to an argument, but rational, express you are sad and concerned, but make sure the atmosphere stays calm. You NEED to discuss this with him :O I really praise your patience! Wow! I wouldn't have managed to stay quiet and act OK with all that going on! :O But you definitely need to communicate with him soon D: Good luck!

  • If he really wanted to be with her, he would at least visit her once in a while or let her come over and tell you some lame ass excuse. But he doesn't. He's with you now, you have kids and plan on having more and talk about your future. Now a guy who isn't in it for the long run wouldn't do that (according to me, if they would they are a*holes).

    But are you "allowed" to know something? I mean, did he ever tell you about her or are you supposed to not know about her?

    • We live together so I know she's never here and he never goes out, like never, I have to beg him to just go have drinks with his friends.. Lol.. He never told me about her, neither one of us has talked about our exes, so if I bring up I know they were texting and she keeps calling them he will know I went through his phone and that will cause a whole other argument but he's told her he's happy with me I just wish she would just leave him alone and find her own man! Lol

    • Randomly ask him about it. If he gives you a weird look, which he probably will, tell him you're curious about his ex gf's, since you never talked about it. Make it a bit of a "funny" conversation, not like: "oh, so she was prettier than me?" but more "breezy".

      But hey, that's the thing. She doesn't have her own man so God knows how many guys she's texting and calling with? ;-) I can imagine it really sucks, but if it's any comfort: I don't really see your guy cheating on you to be honest.

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