Lacking some companionship with my boyfriend, as students.

Here's the thing. We're both students at uni. We're both really busy and we live apart so our companionship consists of saying how each others' day went via text or email, grabbing a bite or swimming together during short school breaks and hanging out together for a few hours every Friday night, sometimes enjoying a date on top of that. I'm often sad that we don't share everything like a married couple does or like a couple does when sharing the same roof.

Today, my boyfriend had his very last team presentation in front of the client for his year-long, end of degree project course. It lasted all day long, big deal and all. He kept talking to me about it for weeks. It was important enough to him that he set things up so his father could attend the presentation. But he didn't text me to tell me how it went until 10h30 PM, even though I knew it ended at 5 and I spent the whole day sending him positive vibes because it was an important day. He didn't even answer my text asking how it went. He just wrote that he went back to school after the presentation (he could have texted me there, but he obviously didn't care for it), went to dinner with his team, and just came home. I feel like he'll tell his whole family about it, have the longest time to enjoy himself and celebrate, and that I'll be the last one he'll care to tell. I feel neglected and uncared for. I've supported him the whole way through. It's been a year that he's been part of this project. And now that he's done with it, he couldn't care less to update me about it. Do you understand? I feel like I'd be settling for less if I were to accept being treated like that until, maybe, we move in together and increase our companionship. How is that fair to me?

And the irony? I'm having my big "project day" today. And I'm the one crying myself to sleep. And he has the nerve to text me that "My vibes helped him 100%".
In short, I texted him at 7 PM and he texted me back at 10h30 PM. The whole night, he was having a blast, meanwhile leaving me hanging to wonder.
We're gonna have a talk tonight and I want to be prepared. We texted this morning. He showed no remorse. He just said he didn't text after the presentation because he couldn't and he was in a hurry, saying that "he's doing his best, bottom line". He focusses on the fact that he did reply to my text, only not at the time I wished he did. He really seems to think I'm butthurt for nothing. I'm pretty sure he does not understand at all what I was expecting and why he hurted my feeling so much.


Most Helpful Girl

  • honestly, I understand that you feel all of your support for him went unappreciated, but give him a break. he was probably just super busy with his school mates and dad and didn't want to start a conversation with you until he had time to settle down and actually text you back and whatnot. I don't think you should be so upset with him. send him a simple text like "could really have used your support today too", if he didn't send you any nice texts in the morning before he got busy it's probably just because he was stressed out and because boys often don't THINK about doing things like that lol.

    also don't rush the 'married couple' thing! you are going to have the rest of your lives for that if you two are meant to be together, just enjoy being a student while you still can

    • He didn't wait to have a conversation. He waited until it was late enough that I was already in bed because I have to get up early to do my own presentation tomorrow. I'm even more frustrated because we've recently had a huge falling out due to him getting drunk with his friends and not giving a sign of life for hours while he knew I was waiting for him to come meet me. He'd been ignoring my text that night too, and I feel like it's happening over agin. I almost broke up last time!

    • Show All
    • Yes, we had plans because he wanted to. He made those plans, then told me he'd meet me after a beer. he ditched me after that and got drunk when I was waiting after him. I texted to ask what the hell he was doing, and he didn't text me back for hours. It was a similar thing yesterday, and I feel like it's happening all over again. I've told him a few times that this stuff hurts my feelings a lot. like he's

    • ohh OK. well obviously that's very rude and inconsiderate; if my boyfriend and I had specific plans and I was there waiting and he just got drunk and ditched me I would be totally upset

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What Guys Said 2

  • He's not worth it.

    You should break it off.

    He's not putting any effort into your relationship.

  • hows that irony him telling you '' My vibes helped him 100%.'' because he hasn't gave you any good vibes?

    • No. It's that his text tells me he appreciated my vibes and support, and he realizes I've devoted thoughts to him the whole day, but that didn't keep him from not giving a f*** when it's time to give me some thoughts back. He's glad I thought about him the whole time he was expecting itbut he doesn't feel an ounce of guilt to keep me waiting the whole time I'm expecting to hear from him.

    • Yeah I would be upset also.

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