I'm recently divorced and my girlfriend of 4months has began interacting with her ex, making me feel uncomfortable and less important. We are both single parents with sons the same age but mine lives with his mom in another state. Her ex is also a girl.. which she was upfront with. She led me to believe that they have nothing to do with each other, zero interaction. Her ex recently moved back in with her mom, next door to my girlfriend. Slowly I began to notice she would let her son go visit her ex/neighbor. Then I began to notice that they were texting. When I asked her about it, she said they just discussed her son. I noticed it occurred more and more often and in the middle of the night and she was defensive about it. Later she told me that they were best friends before(only knowing each other a few years) and that she just felt bad and wanted her friend back. Our relationship was perfect and we love each other, but as the frequency increased, our relationship turned very rocky. I caught her next door a few times when I'd come by before she expected. It made me feel like sh*t. She would tell me it was just to let her son visit. When I just had to know what was going on, I looked at her texts and saw she was complaining about me to her ex and even planning a beach getaway with her, when I wouldn't be there. Her ex called our relationship stupid and me a downgrade. I was so upset. She somehow turned it around on me and made me feel wrong for being upset. She apologize for talking bad about me to her ex, but I'm still so confused. She says she loves me but I feel like the affection and compassion is nearly gone. I'm very in love with her and she's been great until this. How can I just accept that they are "friends" again and not feel like I'm being replaced or temptation will rekindle their relationship? My girlfriend has only dated a girl this one time, but that girl has been exclusively with woman. I'm so torn. Help please
Most Helpful Girl
Not to be pessimist or anything, but it doesn't sound good. It doesn't sound good the moment she's telling you one thing and she's telling the other girl another thing. It's compeltely uncool to plan a beach getaway with your ex when the partner is gone. It spells CHEATING all over my board. It's bullsh*t they're just friends. If that other girl keeps on feeding your girlfriend ideas about the relationship being "stupid" and of you being a "downgrade", it'll get to a no return point.
I think your grilfriend needs to be clear about this. First, she doesn't complain about your relationship to others unless she first complains to you. Anything the relationship might need is only between you two. What good does it bring if she asks for her EX's FUC*ING opinion?! Nothing too unbiased. What does she expect out of this relationship in the future and the ex's involvement in her life? Tell her how you feel and ask her how would she feel if you talked to your ex about everything. Reverse the roles, she'd feel like sh*t too.2