If a girl says no, does it really mean no? This one's a strange story...

Last Sunday I've cheated on my girlfriend with one of her friends (Yeah, I know, I'm an a**hole).. by the way this girl I'm talking about barely has any self-confidence and guys took advantage of her pretty much all the time. We started to message each other on Facebook and we had a lot of fun. (By that time I was already with my girlfriend for a month or so but we didn't love each other that much.) So we started to sweet talk and then there was a party which she, me, and my girlfriend attended. When my girlfriend went home she told me it felt bad to see us together and stuff. So the party went on and we were cuddling like every minute. She told me that she totally forgot about her ex who dumped her just some days before that party. And she also told me that I make her happy even when we're just writing to each other. At the end of the party I took her home and kissed her. Then everything came naturally and we were making out for 4 hours or so. Then she said let's keep it a secret and that we should forget each other because she doesn't wanna hurt my then girlfriend. by the way she heard about me wanting to dump my girlfriend and told me not to be stupid. She also wrote that even though that night meant a lot to her, there won't be anything between us, even if I dump my girlfriend and that she didn't meant to hurt me. We talked for some hours and she said that if I'd get to know her better, I wouldn't love her and that she's selfish and maybe couldn't love me as much as I'd love her. She also said that she doesn't want to feel bad because of me or miss me so she's lying to herself and thinking negatively about me. I asked her if she's thinking about me and she said no. (Yeah, that was a big mistake, I know) I told her that I accept her decision. At the party she asked me that if we were together, how could she know that I won't cheat on her, like I did on my then girlfriend. I said that I'm unhappy in my relationship (which was true) and she's exactly what I want this far. So what do you think? Should I try to pursue her or just wait for her to contact me? I think she'd like to be my girlfriend, but she's unsure if she can trust me, and doesn't want to hurt anyone. Or did she just use me? The best I can think of is asking her out next week or so and talk about this...


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think, if you truly like this girl, let her be. She doesn't deserve to be with someone that'll cheat on her the moment things get a little tough.

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    • It's not that I'd cheat on her. I didn't know why was I in a relationship with someone I don't love in the first place. Thinking about it, my ex was just there because I wanted a girlfriend. But this girl is something different. I've got this feeling that can't be explained in words. Just like when I fell in love the first time. Shouldn't I try to show her how much I care about her?...

    • If you can promise her and yourself that cheating on your girlfriend was just a fluke, then prove to her through your actions that you she's different. Tell her what you said in your question and comment and make sure your ex is truly out of the picture.

What Guys Said 1

  • In this case, "no" really means "no." She's right; since you were willing to be with her through cheating, she can never be 100% sure that you'll remain faithful to her. This one is finished; just let her go, and next time limit yourself to one girl at a time.

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    • Well yeah, you should be right. :) But then what was all this sh*tty downgrading stuff she said about herself? Why can't she tell my what's the reason of her decision?.

    • Women will rarely give you the REAL reason they don't want to be with you. You're far more likely to get a made-up excuse, since most of them prefer to let you down easy and avoid a confrontation. (In all fairness, guys tend to do the same thing when they're trying to let women down easy.)

    • I guess you're right. I'll never know what's in her head and that's how it should be. Maybe I'll try to talk to her, but won't expect to be more than a friend. Thanks for answering. :)

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