Guys do you actually want to be friends with your ex?

So I asked a question last week about my ex texting me and saying that I was sexy in a picture. When we broke up he kept saying how he definitely wants to stay friends, and he doesn't want me out of his life. It's been about a month and a half since he broke up with me, and I've started seeing someone else. I'm new to dating/breakups, and I don't know what his behavior means. Along with the text where he called me sexy, he also said that we should have lunch or hang out sometime.

Well we ended up hanging out yesterday. We got coffee and talked for about an hour, and then went on a walk near where I work since I had to go in to work a bit later. Well that went fine. I enjoyed talking to my friend again (we were coworkers/friends for a year before we dated) and there were only a few quiet moments/lulls. afterward, when we went on a little walk, he mentioned offhand that his plans today basically revolved around meeting me. Also his roommate worked very close to where we were, and we passed by the business. He asked me if I wanted to go in and say hi with him if we passed it. I said sure at the time, but later I realized I needed to head to work so he went in without me when we passed it. But I really felt that that would be an awkward moment. I've met and hung out with him and his roommate before, so his roommate knows who I am-but we're not good friends. Why would he want me to go in with him to say a quick hi to his roommate? Also, not so much a big deal, but he did ask for a bit of help. Apparently he has this mad lib wedding invitation, and he asked if I could help him come up with words to fill it out. I know that's not major help, but I've read that if an ex asks for help it's kind of a sign that they're not over you.

I'm not trying to get him back, as I want to see where this new relationship takes me. At the same time though, I'm very confused. Why does he want to hang out just me and him? Why would he even mention that his only plan for the day was seeing me? Do you guys ever mean it when you say you want to stay friends with your ex? Am I over thinking things here, or are these things that you really would say/do with a friend that was just fairly recently a girlfriend? Thanks for your answers


Most Helpful Guy

  • In a relationship where there were real feelings (i.e., not just a FWB), when the relationship ends, so does the friendship. Trying to be friends with an ex is both a mistake and a poor assumption to make (for those who make it).

    If an ex is trying to be your "friend", it usually means he either wants you back or, at the very least, he wants to keep you "in reserve" and off the market. Some people may not want to be with their ex, but they still want their ex to want THEM, and they don't want their ex to get with anyone else. It's a weird sort of possessiveness.

    Anyway, being friends with him is a bad idea. You need to make a clean break so that you can both heal and move on.


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What Guys Said 5


    You MUST let him heal and that means he has to stop seeing you. Otherwise he's gonna be hanging around like a lost dog.

    and most of ALL

    Your new boyfriend is gonna HATE that you still interact with your ex and he will be right to be pissed. It's best for everybody that you stop interacting with him at least for a good year.

    • Hey he broke up with me, so if he's contacting me that should mean that he's healed right?

    • Nope it could mean that he regret dumping you because he realized what he lost. Problem is that you moved on, and he hasn't.

      Let him find a new girlfriend and rebuild his life first and then maybe you can talk about friendship. You don't get over a break up in 6 weeks unless the relationship didn't last long or was really sh*t... Anyway, this whole thing smells bad.

    • Well our dating relationship lasted about 5-6 months, so it wasn't that long. Although we did know each other for a year before, and we had passed the I love you stage. And he doesn't know that I've moved on-it didn't really come up. Also if he regretted dumping me, wouldn't he just come out and say that?

  • I know I can't be friends with my ex...that why I don't contact them much as all besides a happy birthday Facebook blast (if that).

    My intentions wouldn't be honest if I pursued friendship, and I don't want to be a hypocrite, so I leave them be. :)

  • I have never in my life seen a guy act like that nor have I done the same after breaking up with a girl. Honestly, I'd break it off entirely and ignore him and see what he does, then.

  • Nope. There's no friendship between sexes. Either I'm sexually interested in a woman, or I don't really care about her.

  • why not? though we broke up,but you still is the best girl in my heart. and as for me ,you will the girl who knows me best.


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