How to proceed with this one?

Me and my girlfriend had been dating for almost 3 years. About 2 weeks ago we went on a break. The reason for the break was my jealousy of one of our housemates. She was ill over the Easter break and I wasn't in the house. He stayed up all night with her looking after her. The next day she told me how close she had gotten to him as a friend, and being quite paranoid I though something may have been up. I however just brushed this off, thinking I was being my paranoid self.

I got back a couple of days later and it seemed as though they were being very flirty toward each other. I confronted her about this, and she became very defensive and annoyed. I brought it up the next day, after the flirtatious behavior continued and she eventually got annoyed at me and suggested we take a break.

About a week later she told me that we were breaking up.

Me and her were supposed to be going on a city break together, that her mother had already paid for as a birthday gift to her. She took the other guy. Fair enough, I'm not her boyfriend anymore. Now she keeps lying about how they are just going as friends. I know that this is not the case. Whenever me or any of the other housemates are in the room she says how awkward it is going to be there with him. And that he is only going so that she won't be there alone.

Obviously we all still live together until the end of the contract, but me and my ex are in different rooms. She went into my room and took some 'main male contracteptive' (wont let me say the word) behind my back. Then on the morning of the day they were going, they thought I was out of the house. But trust me, you can hear everything in that house. They were making out downstairs. And talking about how much fun they were going to have on their trip. Then they left.

After the breakup she blamed it on me, saying that I was too paranoid, and that I shouldn't have thought anything was going on. I admit I am a paranoid person. I was made to be the real bad guy in the break up. But now after hearing them, my opinion is beginning to change. I know I was being paranoid but I don't know if it actually was just paranoia or not.

Basically what I'm trying to ask is the following things:

"Does it seem to you that something might have been going on when we were in the relationship together?"

"How should I now proceed? (They do not know that I know)"

"Does it seem to you that even if she hadn't cheated. That dating again this close to the break up of a long relationship is insensitive?"

"Before I found out, I was upset. Now I am a mixture of happy and pissed off. Happy that I am out of the relationship that was obviously very broken. Is this a normal feeling?"

I would just like to point out that I am not a malicious or violent person. I do not wish to upset their relationship. To be honest I don't really care about it anymore. I just want closure, and to see if I am in the right or in the wrong.

So what does it seem like to you..


Most Helpful Girl

  • She called you paranoid because it was easier than admitting she messed up. She didn't want to carry any guilt for moving on to another guy right away, she she put it on you. Yes, something was going on. I don't know if they actually hooked up prior to her breaking up with you, but something happened there or she wouldn't be paying him any attention right now.Thank your lucky stars you're not dating her anymore. 1) Because she'd have cheated eventually and 2) Because she's too much of a coward to admit her faults anyway. She'd pin everything on you forever.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Ugh, she sounds sucky right now (I don't have a good word sorry lol) and you have every right to be protective of your girl.

    - firstly, I wouldn't go so far to thinking that something was going on during your relationship with her because there's just not enough evidence on that.

    - proceed onwards, kill her with kindness and don't dwell on it. Give her a I know you're such a slut smile and just be happy that your paranoia totally won. Don't confront her cause that didn't work and it won't make you happy either.

    - yeah, and I find girls are even more sensitive to the 'in between time' so she is totally insensitive and sorry but that flatmate guy of yours isn't very considerate either.

    - totally! Happy is always good and normal! Why should you let her take away your happiness when she's the one that's being a total bum.


What Guys Said 1

  • Buddy, ofcourse there was something going on. First off, I would kill this kid. LOL just cause he's in the same house as you and he thinks he's a "man" let alone he's stealing other peoples flames. On the streets, when you do this, you are known as a bitch.

    Secondly, SHES CLEARLY STUPID. Look at her reply to you. You shouldn't have been paranoid. Oh so its okay for someone else to take care of my woman, but no other woman can take care of me?! That's what I would have said to this dumb Bi*ch.

    Yo, move out of that house. She's stupid. Who cares if you have a contract. Advertise on kijjiji or craigslist that their is a apartment for rent and that its a lease/contract take over.

    Just leave and see how quickly she comes crying lol