Why does my boyfriend buy things for my family?

We've been together for like 6 months, but we've been friends for about a year. Because we live a good few train journeys away from each other we only get to spend time together for like 10 days every 2 months and then he goes back to work. The last time we were together he bought my two younger brothers (18 and 12) more than a few xbox games, my mother (who's American) a box of Lucky Charms (which costs like £10 in the UK because it's imported) and he bought my sister some shoes she really wanted when we were all out shopping which cost like £30. He buys me things too. And that's only a small fraction of the money he spends on us. I always buy my own things when we're out but he always wants to pay. I'm starting to feel guilty even though I always try to stop him from spending. My family loves him and so do I. But isn't this spending kind of extreme? He tells me "It's just money, I've never really thought of it as a big thing like most people, I don't get attached to it..". Can a guy actually see money like this? O.o


Most Helpful Girl

  • Some men and women like to express their affections through their actions. Some people see that as an expression of gift giving. Korea for example is a very materialistic country, IF you are are in a platonic or non platonic relationship with someone and don't give gifts regularly, you are seen as selfish. The more expensive the gift, the more it is thought that you value the person, because money is very important in Korea.

    So if he has a cultural background like this, it may just be his expression of his affection towards you and your family. Some people don't see money as a GOD, especially if they allot of it and don't have to worry about how much they spend.

    AS another poster said, you should make sure that he doesn't have a spending addiction that will make him go homeless or into debt.

    IF he doesn't have an addiction or bad spending habits, I think you shouldn't pressure him about his nature too much. Just make sure that you express your affection towards him in your own way.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Don't feel guilty, but if he can't afford it you need to tell him to stop it in no uncertain terms.

    Yes, a guy can see money like this. But if you're planning on being with him, you should maybe make sure he's not going into debt by doing these things. If it turns out these gifts are all on a credit card, you might be paying the bill later.

    When I first met my wife I would take her out all the time. I really didn't care about the money, but that's probably because I wasn't earning it. Then we had to pay that debt off together.

    Even if he's not going into debt, I hope he's not a spendthrift.

  • Yes. My cousin's boyfriend is like that. He has a job that pays well so he can afford it.

  • tell him he doesn't have to do it, maybe that will take some pressure off


What Girls Said 0

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