Will you tell your partner the reason when you break up with him/her?

The title says it all. For me I am thinking not to tell her the reason because it will hurt her more. Our relatioinship only last for about one month. But I feel bad to see her confused after the break up.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Communication is key. I think it is vital that you tell her why you are breaking it off with her. You can't leave her hanging. Maybe she would realize something about herself that she needs to better, or maybe that you need to better. Depending on the situation (sorry not a lot of details were provided).

    I would be so angry without a reason. I would be even more angry if I was lied to. Some guy told me he needed to fix his relationship with God. I'm not stupid I know something was up. Just please please please please PLEASE tell her.

    -A girl

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What Girls Said 24

  • i would say why, but I wouldn't over analysis/explain the breakup unless he asks me to elaborate on it

    it might hurt a little to know the truth butttt it'll definitely hurt more to not know-- especially if you really care, those questions will eat at you

    its good for closure, and its good to know so you can be better for the next one:)

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  • You really should tell her the truth of why y'all broke up. That'll help her move on with her life and save her the pain of wondering if there's something wrong with her or if she's ever datable again. It may make the break up more painful for now, but it'll make getting over you and moving on with her life much easier.

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  • I think its chivalrous for the person to break things off, the purpose of it. Especially if you are already knowing going into it how they might react to it. However, if you really feel the reason for you wanting to break up isn't something you want to confirm to what she might have already suspected, I would think twice.

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  • If she presses you for a reason, then I'd give it to her, honey. It's better than leaving her there wondering what it could have been, with her mind jumping to conclusion. Telling her straight up like "hey, I'm sorry but this just wasn't working out because..." Yes, if she liked you enough she will be hurt but she'll heal..

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    • I agree, so that there is like a closure.

  • ErrrMehGuuurrrdd! Tell her! It's better to know than to not know. That way she knows what to work on, if it's her fault. Let her know! That's the least you can do. And maybe she'll be upset if the reason is too harsh, but better to know than to be lied to. Well, in my opinion at least..

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  • Yes... My ex would probably be so confused and create all these misunderstandings. I would try to honestly explain.

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  • So what are your plans? Telling her "well this is over, don't ask why, it's difficult"?

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  • What you do depends a lot on the situation. Some things are better said, some things not so much. As a general rule giving a bad reason/excuse is better than giving none at all.

    As for the title question: Most of the time, no. I broke up with a guy because he was too dependent on me, he totally lost his personality, he dropped his hobbies and then his friends ditched him (probably because he couldn't shut up about me). I told him that I didn't have time for a long distance relationship since school was so demanding just then. It was, so technically I didn't lie, but if that was the only reason we could've made it work. I absolutely did not want to shrivel his confidence by telling him I ended it because he became so dependent on me there really was no him for me to get attracted to anymore.

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  • I would only elaborate if an excuse was requested.. Bottom line would be the same, you don't see things going any further...

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  • Sometimes the truth is better to tell. If she doesn't ask why then don't tell her if you don't want to. But don't lie or say something else.

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  • it would be nice to tell her to put her mind at ease. even if it hurts temp,

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  • Tell her, but in a nice way. At the very least a "this isn't working for me anymore" sums it up.

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  • Yes. Don't leave a person hanging, it'll just hurt even more.

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  • Yes it is not a nice thing to leave the other person hanging.

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  • No I'm not obligated

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  • Depends on the reason??

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  • Most of the time

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  • Please tell her, if she cares about you a lot she will hate herself and wonder what she did wrong and what she could have done differently.. I was with my ex for a little over a month and he ended it and left me heartbroken with no explanation. It was horrible, I hated myself and I didn't know what I did. Just tell her if you want to save her from pain.

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  • Personally, I'd rather know the truth and the reason. No matter what it was... In the end it will hurt her more not knowing than knowing.

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  • If its just not meant I be bro, then dont spare her feelings. Tell her.

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  • Yes of course

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  • To be honest yes I would , I think it's best to tell her because if you do not tell her right away then she gonna think you used her or you're a player and she's gonna hate you for that it's good to tell her then not cause your gonna make it even worse but anyways ishe gonna heartbroken be if you don't tell her cause then she's gonna feel like something bad happen , and plus wouldn't you want know if she was the one that broke up with you and y ?

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  • Yes, I've been broken up with and left without a reason. I would want to know what I did wrong so I could avoid doing it in the next relationship.

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What Guys Said 7

  • The reason behind the breakup when being told is usually something sugar coated because the one telling the reason to the other person wants to have some type of damage control.

    Even though you know he or she is telling you something, there is always more to it than he or she wants to cover up. Let it be some habits that you have or something else.

    Some might be blunt about it and that might be the reason, but it's easy to suspect there's more to it.

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  • The best way to end a relationship is just to say "I just don't feel the same anymore". That way they know how you feel, and that there's nothing they can try and fix in order to keep the relationship alive. You just don't have those feelings anymore, and there's no use in forcing them

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  • If you're willing to break up with someone, then be courteous and let them know why. Otherwise you might find yourself in the opposite position future wise. There is nothing more painful than not knowing why or receiving closure.

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  • I'm an honest person so I'd definitely be honest as to why I would have to break up with someone. It'll make things easier for both of us. No confusion or regrets.

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  • Girls are speaking the truth. It always is nice to understand than to wonder. Fact stays, but a mind can think of many horrible reasons.

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  • No it won't. You can tell someone the truth and still spare their ego. Lying never makes it hurt less.

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  • I would be honest with her since it would do a good closure.

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