What does it mean when he glances at me while he is in a relationship?

Ok, I've been reading tons of questions from different users, but I wanted to share my own story so I can find proper answers.

Last summer I met this guy (he's almost 30) and I'm 20. He was in a 3 years relationship at that time. From the first moment, when I arrived at the hotel he was glancing at me and he kept doing this thing. Sometimes he was waving from his car and smiling (but he was doing this only when he was inside the car), when I was looking at him, he looked back, sometimes I've been catching him looking at me and then he looked away, other times he kept on looking until I've looked away, he tilt his head in my direction and so on... I knew he was in a relationship and I've never tried something. He was working at the bar, and we had the chance to talk, but I was scared to make a move, considering the situation.

His EX girlfriend was also there, and she was looking at me like she wanted to kill me, she even stopped talking to me (we're "friends" somehow, her family brought me to that hotel + I've had no idea they were together, 7 years ago). After one week of these glances between us, almost everyone was looking weird at me. But I didn't do anything, I made sure that I'm looking at him only when HE can see it, and not the others. Yet, when we were alone he was kinda awkward and nervous, but he never made a move.

So why he was glancing/smiling/waving for 2 weeks, everyday, if in the end, he didn't made a move? I've looked to see if he is doing the same things to other girls, but he didn't. I don't understand, he was in a relationship at that moment, why would he do such things to another girl, if he loves his girlfriend? He was just making fun of me, or he really liked me?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He thinks you are pretty and is interested, but not sure what to do next. Girls expect guys to come over and approach them, but most guys are actually a bit hesitant to do that because they don't want to look stupid. Trust me that this happens way, way more than you realize, and most guys think this way no matter how calm they manage to act or what they tell other people. I know I have done a good job in the past of hitting on girls and approaching them while finding some excuse to talk to them where it didn't seem that I was nervous at all, but I was.

    Usually the guys who have zero fear of rejection are the ones who hit on every girl they see and honestly don't care what any girl thinks of them, so you can imagine how they typically treat girls once they are dating.

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    • It's true,girls expect guys to do that. At least that's what I expected him to do.. Now the things are a bit more clearer to me. Thank you! x

    • So now that you know this, you might want to find excuses to be near him or ask him some bs question. Girls have done that to me, and I have done that to other girls. You don't have to start off strong, just innocent questions and see where it goes from there. He will gradually be more comfortable with you I bet :)

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What Guys Said 6

  • Yeah, he most likely liked you, but couldn't do anything because he was with someone.

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  • He probably thinks you're attractive, but can't approach you.

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  • "why would he do such things to another girl, if he loves his girlfriend? " He... He glaced at you? This is... an offense to his relationship...?

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    • Not only just glanced, I haven't told everything that happened there. I kinda suck at expressing what I really want to say in English, as it's not my first language. I actually didn't wanted to put the question to that side, like, "offense to his relationship" because I actually don't care what he does with his relationship. I only wanted to know if it's normal for guys to .. flirt, somehow, with other girls, while they're in a long-term relationship.

    • Depends on the person. And "Flirting" doesn't exactly have a static definition these days either. Even more so if the two ever had a discussion about ' how far is too far'. Some relationships are more open than others.

  • Checking you out GURLLLLL! Lol

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  • he find you physically attractive...he may be taken,shy or unwilling to date, so he didn't approach you.

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  • He likes you but can't approach you...i had a girl who use to stare at me like an owl and she had a boyfriend...so when I knew she had a boyfriend...i went up to her and asked her why she was staring..she didn't stare after that.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It means he's a guy.

    It may also just be the little fantasy jolt he needs before he goes to bed with his girlfriend.

    It doesn't necessarily mean that he wants to do anything with you.

    I have a friend who emails me very late at night on a consistent basis. He has a girlfriend. I used to figure she was just asleep when he emailed. We're not in a relationship at all beyond he very face-value platonic friendship. My guy gets upset that I'm in any sort of contact with this guy, though. Why? He figures the guy is using his communication with me as a stimulus to get things going before he beds his girlfriend. NOT that any of our contact is sexual in content! We talk about books and TV shows, or the school he went to. It's completely non-sexual 100%.

    Still, guys are guys.

    Just because he thinks of you in a sexual way in this manner doesn't mean that he is actually attracted to you or wants to be in a relationship etc with you at all.

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    • Woah, honestly, I've never put it that way. But this thing might be right, considering the fact that I look different than his girlfriend.. It's true, guys are guys, it's in their nature to act that way..

    • It's like shaking a rattle in front of a baby. Does he still want his bottle? Yeah, but who can resist the allure of the rattle? (Lol.)

  • Guys can admire without having to act on it. It's probably because he DOES love and respect his girl that he knows it's not worth it to talk to some random woman. He's probably got a lot to lose at home, sounds like a decent guy.

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    • I've been thinking about that.. :) Yeah, you might be right. Thanks! x

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