Why did my boyfriend take my face in his hands to make me look at him and said "Look at me" while making love?

We recently broke up but got back together when he realized someone else was interested in me. Could this gesture of him taking his hands and turning my face to him and saying look at me twice in a row -( of course I always melt he is so handsome) be a sign of him saying he wants me to be his and only his?Is it control? I got hurt a while back when he sorta took me for granted so I started going out on dates and being more social. Now he is finding a roommate for me that is his friend to help me out financially as I have been struggling recently.He I s going back to school to finish his degree and won't be able to work so I think maybe that is why he won't move in. What is your take on this?

I do love him but have not told him since our breakup & I recently told him I 'm not sure if I want to get married again. I am older than him and I wonder if he is doing this Because he loves me and wants to help me out. He is Arabic- they have a different culture and he is a Muslim too but is very sweet & happy usually to me but maybe their religion does not allow living together. Only marriage?.Sometimes he says things like find me a hot girl I think to needle me. But then the other night he told me I was gorgeous and holds me in his arms all night and kisses my forehead. He acts kinda tough a lot almost I think because he is a softy deep down..He does not share his emotions too well. And he leaves his clothes and stuff at my house and we are getting to know each other better since we had a month apart. And he told me he loved me way back but has not said it recently. I am trying to keep my options open too but I am trying not to get all crazy in love because my feelings run too deep and I don't want to get hurt this time. Sex is the greatest than with anyother person I have had and he tells me that too. He looks into my eyes during it too and I cannot believe that this man does not truly love me.

I want to have the talk with him but I don't want to rush it - Because I want to take it day by day and enjoy his company instead of rushing things..Long time ago he said very abruptly Don't push me.Now I talk back to him where before I would just clam up. Sometimes when he tells me to shut something off I look at him and laugh and say OK your the boss and I salute him military style and he laughs too.I am the younger of my family and he is the older of his and its funny we fit like a glove snuggled together. His communication skills are bad sometime due to his inability to talk good English and sometimes it comes across as calloused.Its his accent- almost Russian. But he looks 45 I look 45 but he is 20 years difference and we are strongly attracted to each other it's unbelievable. I think he is very fatherly to me and reminds me of my dad and I am the older but people say I look 41! Please help.


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What Guys Said 1

  • 1. Wow a lengthy question but not a problem with that. Please don't mind me saying this but don't ask questions in paragraphs, write them in short points - most people don't have the patience to run through large paragraphs (including me :D but something made me read this one - happens with me at times)

    2. As how I see it, you guys got great - GREAT actually chemistry and that is for sure!

    3. His coming back is a typical male chauvenism habit of getting insecure about one's own masculinity when the one he had conveniently taken for granted starts enjoying herself and others' company

    4. Understanding all that the act that you described is a fallout of point 3 but not limited to the same since he has obviously always found you attractive. Just the element of excitement was required which your moving away did the trick ;). The excitement may have been gone owing to your looking upto / admiring him all the while etc

    5. When it comes to his guy / relationship you may want to and actually do scuttle a few facts from yourself too since you like it with him so bad.

    6. He sure likes older women and you probably younger men (the latter may not be a compulsion) but you are looking at your prince in him for sure

    7. Do anything but don't let him take you for granted.

    8. You didn't mention who broke up i.e. who initiated it and why - important even if it sounds nosey :D

    • i did not understand # 5 - what do you mean by scuttle? Not understanding what you are trying to say... Also, I first broke off with him way back to try to show him he was taking me for granted... Cuz he was telling me that he would not mind if I dated others! However, every thing was going find however after 9 months he was back taking me for granted and so I blew up at him - my Dad became sick out of state and I had to go home for a week and then I wanted to see him when I went back and he said no that he was letting me go - I just walked away and have not seen him since - I tried to call him but he would not call back...I did love him - I just was under durews- my dad was dying...and my boyfriend was not being supportive so I got mad and told him to get his stuff out of my house... I am sorry I blew a gasket - he never saw me like that - it is not normal for me but he could not forgive me!!! so its been 6 months - I had a hard time getting over him but I miss him.

    • 'Scuttle' means ditch it

      WOW that's pretty insensitive about not supporting you at such a time :(

      But now that you say you're 45 & he's 20 years younger (u mention it as difference), possibility is he adores you and just you but is not ready to take on any other responsibility other than you.

      Possibility is that he can't take demise in the family etc very sociably as we generally perceive it. I know cause I'm that way too but have managed to straighten myself out of realization of that fact.

      Your blowing the gasket is natural, nothing wrong in it :) He's the one who should be apologetic :)

      He's just young blood with a temper, a path to tread carefully with.

      You keep the upper hand & be in control, it'll be a happy situation. You go mushy & things may not be so good at all times :)

      Are you pursuing him? If you are then DON'T! wait & watch how things work out else go on your way forward :)

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