I don't get it. Can someone explain it to me

So this girl I was friends with for 5 years is bi, but she told me she had a crush on me the same time I had a crush on her. So we went out on a date, we cuddle and held hands, she told me that she would give me three dates to win her over. But during that date her ex who's a girl, ended up in the hospital because she ended up cutting herself because she was upset it was over with this girl I was seeing. Then she ended up living her and her family. I asked her for another date, she accepted. But I was scared she would get back together with her ex. Then I found out tonight that her and her ex are back together and living together. They got back together AFTER she accepted a second date with me. She even told me my chances were good. The thing is that she got hurt by her the first time. I know we were friends to begin with, I was OK before she told me that she had a crush on me. Heck if she never told me and got back together with her ex, it wouldn't of upset me. But since she did it, it's like someone stabbed me in the heart, it hurts that much, because the same thing's happening. When I find a girl I think I have a shot with, with her she told me my chances were good. They end up friending me, even though we were friends to being with. Am I ever going to find a girl right for me? I would like the girls to answer this, because I don't get it.


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  • The problem is you never had a shot. Her line that you have 3 dates for you to win her over is a power grab. It's bullsh*t. Fortunately karma got her back when her ex pulled a power trip of her own. Let her be miserable.

    • but that's the thing she's not. She told me that she's happy with her and she loves her.

      I know how and why it happened. Her ex saw her necklace hanging from my dash and knew that we could of had something. This was after she came back from the hospital, she cut herself to make the girl I was seeing feel bad about breaking up with her. Then they ended up getting a place of their own so they will always be together.

  • This is basically the old line of threatening to hurt oneself to keep a partner who is checking out from the relationship.

    This never works because you can't force people to get into or stay in relationships. I predict they will be breaking up again in the near future because of the same issues that broke them up to begin with.

    Whether she's happy or not doesn't matter, as this relationship is already over. She's only back with her ex because she feels bad, and that feelins cannot sustain a relationship.

    Now as far as if you have a chance, she could just have been using you as a distraction to begin with. But I wouldn't stray too far (stay friends) because she'll need more distracting when they break up soon.

    I give it 2-4 weeks tops.


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