My ex boyfriend and I dated for almost 6 years this July. We have been living together for three years. Within the past year the relationship felt like it started to go down hill with petty arguments (he runs a seasonal buisness and I work crazy shift work at a hospital) The stress of both jobs kind of got to us. We went away this past Jan and we had a great time :) he said it was the best trip we ever had--then suddenly he started to distant himself from me. The arguments started again. Then he dumped me the day before Valentine's day--the worst! He cried when he did it and said it was the hardest thing he's ever done! I got I love u, but not in love with you anymore.
He left the house for three months and started avoided me. I called him three times in the course of those months to ask him questions regarding our living situation (we live in the middle of nowhere and jobs are hard to come by right now, so that's why I haven't moved out, or I already would have)the third phone call he refused to answer.
He return back to the house trying to be all friendly with me. We talked here and there I try to keep my distance but he always comes around me. Telling me things about his life then asked if I was seeing anyone or been with anyone, I said it's really none of your business...then he said "I lost you!" but he made that choice.
He's been home two weeks now and has went from being really friendly so we can live together for the time being to being really mean to me like a bully! And distant again. I haven't done anything wrong. He said he's not over me, but I asked if he still has feelings for me and he replies with "well I care about u" I'm trying to move forward buts hard with him there, I suspect he's seeing someone because of a conversation I over heard he had on the phone, I know I shouldn't care. But it's sucks!
My question is why do you think he continues to play this hot and cold game with me. How can you go from being someone's everything to nothing the next.
Most Helpful Girl
Im in the same position (Kinda) except I was the dumpee, the day before valentines. A little different reasoning, my ex was abusive and had substance abuse problems, but none the less I left and had no interest in speaking to him. We have had the same hot and cold game since. Its my opinion that leaving someone you truly loved is harder than being left, because it was your choice, and panic sets in a times and you worry you made a big mistake, then you begin to question your decision and start spending time around them and you remember the reasons you left in the first place. I think he is honestly very confused on what he wants, my best advice try to find a different living situation or distance yourself from him as much as possible and contact him as little as possible. Let him find out what life is really like without you, if he really loves you he will realize it, and if he doesn't he will find peace with his new found freedom and move on.0