Boyfriend broke up out of the blue. ED problems at fault? Please help

My boyfriend and I have only been dating for about 6 weeks. From the first moment on, we had this amazing connection (his words, not mine) and he seriously treated me like a queen. He was so attentive, brought me flowers, told me again and again how beautiful I was and how lucky he is. We made plans for the future.

We waited to sleep with each other until about a month into the relationship because we wanted to do this right. But he told me on one of our first dates that his body just kind of knows before his brain or heart does when he's not meant to be with someone, referring to ED problems. I even said back then that he's putting a lot of pressure on himself, but he was just so sure it would never happen with me because he's so crazy about me. I didn't really take it seriously back then.

When we did go that route, it didn't work the very first time. It did the day after but he had trouble maintaining most of the time. You can guess how the story continues, he made a complete 180 and told me that his body just doesn't feel right and that it's telling him we shouldn't be together and that he isn't happy... There weren't even 3 days in between him being all over me, telling me just how happy he was and this. Not even 3 days but a few failed attempts. When he did come though, he was always done after 2 minutes. It's like he had to time it perfectly. Obviously that was never long enough for me. I never said anything about it, I know it's a sensitive subject.

Just don't know what to do now. I snapped at him when he told me this, I was so surprised and hurt. He is 34 and didn't really have a serious relationship in 14 years. With the last girl back then, he didn't even sleep with her. Is there anything I should do? I'm not the type of person chasing after someone but I just have a feeling that he's not giving it enough time because he doesn't know how to be in a relationship. It sometimes takes time to get used to each other. I'm usually a good judge of character and very careful who I open up to so I am certain he didn't just pretend his feelings for me.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Updates:
EDIT: His exact words were: I just don't feel like myself. I don't feel happy. Don't know what it is, but I think my body is telling me that we're not meant to be.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • GIRL!

    For starters...STOP.

    STOP feeling bad RIGHT NOW.He basically TOLD you ahead of time that he had "problems".It is a RED FLAG if someone hasn't been in a relationship or has had strong feelings for someone in 14 years and he is ONLY 34! :o

    Him talking about how his "body knows before his brain"?What? NO.NO.NO. Its basically his Erectile Dysfunction issues he doesn't want to address because he is MAJORLY insecure about it.What's absolutely worse...is that some men who have this issue will OF COURSE project and say...its YOU.His penis won't rise because of YOU or something YOU did.Or who YOU are.It becomes the blame game because he is in denial about his OWN PROBLEM.

    Do NOT feel bad,because CLEARLY...IT IS NOT YOU.

    Honestly,even if he was nice to begin with,I don't think you should do a damn thing to get him back.Why?Because I guarantee he has a slew of self esteem and confidence issues to get over BEFORE he even tries to be in a relationship with ANYONE.You have encountered someone who is BROKEN...and it is NOT your job to FIX him.Read that back to yourself 5 times over.

    Even if you did TRY again,you would encounter so many,many issues that you may get exhausted even trying to deal with it.Mind you,this man is 34.He is not 25.He knows he has problems,and he is not facing them.It is important to LISTEN when someone TELLS you who they are.He TOLD you exactly who he was,but at the time I guess it didn't seem like much.But girl,the guy you want is a HOT BOILING MESS. And I guesss you want him because he came off as sweet and caring,also probably because he rejected...you.

    But all in all,move on girly.You are still young and you can find someone else.You only saw the surface of his problems.And he actually did you a favor...TRUST ME.I have a story about this,if you want to hear it,pm me.Otherwise,good luck.And don't waste your time with this guy.Let him fix his own issues.

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    • Thanks for the honest words... I tried to message you but I have to be your friend or something...

    • Show All
    • Hey,I started writing out a long message to you regarding this situation.You should get it by tomorrow sometime.

    • OK, thank you!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Doesn't sound like a guy worth chasing. Penis problems mean much bigger issues exist in his head. Besides he's a premature ejaculator anyway, better options are right under your nose.

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  • He's just making up excuses.

    Find another guy.

    He's not the guy for you.

    His body is telling him that you're not the girl for him.

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    • I just got this text from him: "I am such an idiot. I don't know what got into me, I don't want to lose you. Can I please come over after work so we can talk?"

    • Talk with him see what's going on

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