Why won't Korean ex talk to me?

I typed this already but it got wiped.

Short version.

Dated a Korean girl. My ex's have usually broken up for the same reasons - cultural differences, language barrier, distance.

I've never had this kind of treatment before. Not from a girl who said she loved me.

Honest admitions: I was too cold and distant. My grandfather died, my father was in hospital, work was not going well. The weight of the world was on my shoulders. My confidence was low. We both felt powerless about her situation. I wasn't the man then I am now.

The first two months were perfect. She studied in Daejeon but she visited Seoul every weekend. We spoke on the phone every day.

Then, her professor RESUMED stalking her. Then it was impossible to help her or cheer her up. I love Korea but hate the abuses of power and what it does to women here. She had to tolerate his presence otherwise she couldn't graduate.

i told her to tell friends and even if it meant jeapordising her degree she had to report him. Harrassing a student with phone calls and emails is not on. Following her to the phillipines when she went on holiday with her friends. Becoming active again after he found out she had a boyfriend. Going behind his MISTRESSES back to stalk a student. Yes, not even his wife. He was going behind the back of his mistress as well. Nice guy.

The killer was when her mother's dog got sick. She had to go straight back to Daejeon. She studied animal science and the professor was a vet.

So for a month she couldn't come back. She became despondent and reluctant to talk on the phone. She got mad at me for not understanding Korean. Without time together we couldn't really talk.

Language barrier. Distance. Being stalked by your professor. These can all kill relationships.

When she broke up with me I wasn't surprised. We both had stress in our lives.

Things got better for me though. Even though all my messages have been asking after her and how she is, wondering if she is better she won't talk to me.

Any time I send her a message she blocks me (but will become unblocked after a couple of weeks). She never responds.

I was a crappy boyfriend. Some guys are weak. Some can be brought low by a bad set of circumstances.

I just can't see any reason why simple "Good luck. Goodbye" is so hard when blocking me seems to be so much more effort.

I'm over the relationship. But not how it ended. I'm not over who I was and how I reacted to events. Selfishly I'm seeking a response to help me get over that. But I really did care for her (I only truly lover her now she's gone) and I want to know she's ok.

There's also the anger that the professor got his way. Necessity means he gets to have her in his life. But I get nothing. I'm not even worthy of one word.

Well. Is that fair? Life isn't fair. But is it just? That of all the cruel things men do to women I'm cut out of her life because life was just a bit too hard for both of us to have a relationship?

My foreign friends agree with me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Who knows why she quit talking to you but what really matters is that she DID quit talking to you, not WHY. You'll have to find your own peace with this. She's obviously wanting to be left alone and you should respect her wishes.

    • Thanks. You're right. The best thing for her is to move on. It's sad that she lives in a society that has forced her to be defensive. But my seeking closure I am just making it worse. I just needed someone to tell it to me straight. So thanks a lot. :)

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think the cultural differences and maybe language barriers are far too great for her to continue the relationship. She doesn't want you to keep telling her, that she needs to report her professor. It doesn't work that way in Korea. They just "tolerate" it. She just wants understanding from you, that's how things work there. Asian culture doesn't support the idea of confrontations.

  • I'm korean.
    Some korean girls are do that.
    Don't care.

  • Because she got over u


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