She doesn't want me back but misses me?

Hi all,

Basically broke up with her 8 months ago, and have seen her on nights out in between then and no, in which we've both said we've missed each other and ended up kissing. More recently in the past 3 weeks, we slept together which she told me again she missed me. She also said she was considering giving me another chance, I didn't put in enough effort which I've apologized to her for, and I've got her flowers recently, and a top of her favorite band..

I spent 6 months trying to get with her, and I succeeded and we dated for 5 months,

However, she has now "made up her mind" and is not giving me a second chance, saying the things I've done are too little too late. I said I'd take her away to paris for the weekend, to make up for the hurt I caused her, she said she'd love it although can't go with me. I said it was one of the things I'd do to show her changing her mind is worth it and that is the last contact we've had

I'm currently leaving it for a few days just to let her think and have some breathing space. What do you think I should do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You can still miss someone but feel it won't work. Unfortunately feelings aren't always enough for a relationship to last. I would leave it now if I were you. If she has told you she has made up her mind then there's nothing you can do. You don't really want to be with someone you have to convince do you! I have a policy once someone tells me no for sure I would never go back. NEVER! It's my self value kicking in. If she wants you allow her to do the work now. Seems you have done all you can!

    • Do you think I should let her miss me?..

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    • Was thinking of putting thanks for everything :)

      Best wishes x

    • I would'nt but it's totally up to you!

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What Girls Said 5

  • I had similar feelings towards an ex of mine. He was the first guy I really loved, and we had a very good relationship while it lasted. We broke up for several reasons, and it was for the best, but I always missed him. A few months after the breakup, we hung out and ended up making out and feeling strongly for each other again. We considered getting back together, but I realized that we had both changed.

    I had been missing the relationship we had and the person he was before, and if we did anything now it just wouldn't work. Really, he didn't change so drastically to the outsiders eye, but he didn't feel like the same person anymore. We just grew too differently for it to work.

    I'd give your girl some space and let her decide what she wants. Pushing anything on her isn't going to win her affections, only push her takes two, remember.

    • Yeah, I've probably been a bit too keen in trying to win her back, the top I got her hasn't arrived although I'm going to send it to her.. should I add a note inside?

  • She could miss the things you would do together and all the couple-y stuff that you did but not actually miss you. Does that make any sense?

    • Well when we slept together, she said she missed me and grabbed me really tight... She also stayed the following evening. I reckon leaving it for 3 or 4 days, then speaking to her but not about us. Just about normal things, I make her laugh a lot.

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    • she's said several times she misses me personally.

    • Again she might not realize that it isn't you she misses but aspects of the relationship. Obviously you really want her back though if you refuse to believe that what I am saying is a possibility.

  • I know how she feels, I gave my guy a second chance only to have him let me down 7 months later.

    You sound like you want to make the effort to make it work, the problem is she just doesn't believe it will last, my guy was on his best behavior for the first 5 months, after that he started to slip back into his old ways, and I kept giving him the benefit of the doubt only to have it end 2 months later.

    I regret giving him the second chance, I only ended up hurt and heart broken because I really loved him.

    Sometimes you need to except you broke up the first time for a reason, and except you can't make someone want to be with you or love you for that matter.

    Learn from this an find someone else who will appreciate your efforts.

  • I hear you. It happened to me too but twist is he broke up with me but wouldn't stop texting me that he miss me or checking on me with simple texts like "hey" "hi" etc but he never made a firm move to get back.. Instead he went and got him a new girl but he still texted me. He caused me a lot of pain and emotional distress. I had to tell him I do not want to speak to him anymore because it wasn't going anywhere, he wasn't making the firm moves he should have done, he was taking his time which got me feeling he doesn't want me he just misses our intimacy and good memories we had... So when a woman feels that a man should have done more to keep her aelf worth kicks in and nothing that particular man does or is willing to do past this point is pointless and it won't change it for the better. I think you should let this one go wven if its hard

    • I was speaking to her most days, but I realized this won't do me any good. Decided to leave it for 3 days. Give her the chance to miss me etc.

  • Well, precisely what did you do to cause this breakup? If she was willing to give you a second chance, a few flowers OR a trip to Paris aren't going to change things at all. If there were big gaps in the way you were treating her, the only way to fix that is to address each of those issues and make the recommended change, as needed.

    • Well in the first 3 months she said it was the happiest she'd been and she'd fallen for me. (feelings were mutual here). Then some rumours that she'd cheated on me months before surfaced, I was unsure who to believe as my best mates had told me, but she said it wasn't true and still denies it now. The guy who she supposedly cheated on me with denied it too. And I was less bothered about her after, even though I didn't deliberately try to be.. I was more like oh well.

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    • Getting her flowers, top, chocolate etc

    • Getting her flowers and other stuff won't patch up he real issue here -- which is that you didn't trust/believe her.

What Guys Said 1

  • You should just move on.


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