Why do guy or girls compare the current girlfriend to an ex?

Why do guys or girls always compare their new boy or girl friend to their ex?

Why do you bring up your old boyfriend or girlfriends behavior s to your current partner? Is it just to complain or compare them?

Did you ever have a relationship end because you did this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dear Lucy,

    It's living in the now-perfect past.

    Time decreases the bad and increases the good.

    Comparison of a current mate is unfair and cruel because he or she will never measure up to the old partner, who is now seen as more-or-less perfect.

    Best to live in the present and appreciate your current partner!

    I'd be sorely tempted to end this relationship.

    No; I would end it.

    Ted

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Guys Said 4

  • Not everyone does this. I don't bring up past mistakes from a previous relationship into the new one. I've only compared someone to an ex, when the "wound" was "still fresh". From a previous relationship, aka still being hurt from that person.

    But I have never thrown it in someone elses face for doing the things that they do, or saying well you did this, and so did this one. No I never say that to the person, I say it to myself in my head, but never to the new person.

    As for the people that like blurt out about there ex's well there not over them yet. That's why they do this. Or if they are constantly saying " oh my ex did that" in a good or bad way, well they are not over them yet and still have a fresh wound.

    If someone is completely healed from a previous relationship, there is no reason for them to bring up the past, and to only look forward to the future. So if your dating guys and they are doing this to you, maybe your going after the wrong men.

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    • My ex was always reiterating stories of his ex girlfriend from 10 years ago. It drove me nuts, when I confronted him about it, he denied he still was in love with her.

      My response - Thou do protest too much...I had to explain that to him being Shakespeare

      We broke up but not before I told him how I felt about how poorly he treated me, I hope he learned something.

      Never bring up an ex in a new relationship :)

    • k you can't make someone learn something. You need to understand that, I hate when people are like oh he treated me like crap, and I hope he learned. You can't teach him if he doesn't want to learn. Do you understand? You reply was fine till you said that last part. Some people never learn, just keep your own head up and move forward.

    • My comment was relevant, the whole point about moving on is not only learning but accepting that you made mistakes in the relationship, what you did not understand was that I was never there to be teaching him how to act. He repeatedly mentioned her to me, to the point that it had a negative effect on our relationship. By the time the penny dropped with him it was to late, I wanted out. Like you said he was never over here, and I did want to be with someone who was emotionally unavailable.

  • well u obv compare things that are similar, its only human....

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  • No to the last question and they probably do it to vent.

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  • That's because they want some reassurance on their new girlfriend, though it's too shallow as a reason for breakup.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I may think about the differences/similarities between my boyfriend and my ex, but I NEVER tell him about it. I don't talk to him like that. I don't even think he knows what my ex's name is, because that's how rarely I mention him.

    He does the same for me.

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  • I compare the guys I've dated to one another, but I haven't said any of it out loud to anyone, especially any current boyfriends unless they ask. And if they ask I often bend the truth to their favor. I learned that not answering questions makes them think the worst so I just lie a little when necessary.

    But I compare guys entirely for personal reasons. I want to make sure I'm not making the same stupid mistakes again.

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  • Only jerks do that. Whether that's all guys, most or some, I don't know.

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