Have you ever been not affected by a breakup?

Have you ever broken up with someone you really cared about, and then over time, just completely gone back to normal?

My ex was in love with me when he asked me out. He thought about me all the time. I gave him a chance and we dated for a year. He broke up with me 8 months ago saying he got too scared because this was his first relationship. At first after the breakup, he missed me. But now he seems TOTALLY indifferent about it. Like we had nothing! Really hurts me.

I know he isn't dating someone else. I have to see him and work with him everyday at school! It is making my life very difficult and making me feel very angry and frustrated how someone can just get over everything and be so happy and content after leaving the company of a sweet, caring, beautiful girl.

Makes me feel like I must be pretty crappy, that I left no impression on his heart :( Our relationship was amazing, and we really cared about each other a lot!

Have you ever felt this normal after breaking up with someone? Or do they always have a special place in your heart?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I have always been affected by break-ups, but the intensity and duration of the effects are directly correlated to the time & energy I invested in each of those relationships.

    Affection, time, social externalities, shared experiences... all these things add up to increase the pain of a separation. The greater the pain, the longer it takes to fade away.

    However, when you break up with someone, even if you truly and deeply care about them, it is possible to return to normalcy. The saying, "time heals all wounds" is very applicable in this case. It just takes longer when you're infatuated or greatly committed to someone.

    Your situation makes me wonder what your definition of being "in love" is, and how you were able to gauge his real interest level without being inside of his head. I don't think he was ever truly in love, but rather infatuated with you, so that's all he could think about... It's a rare occurrence to know enough about a person to be in love without having dated them first.

    I think you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. This dude just got excited about having his very first relationship, and then realized a year later that he had different expectations about dating. I wouldn't take it personally; he just didn't know what he wanted out of life and relationships at the time he asked you out.

    8 months is a fairly long time to recover emotionally, even from a rough breakup. Personally, all of my relationships have a "special place in my heart," but I prefer to focus on the positive things about the time I spend with someone: I move on knowing that it was better to have broken up than have tied the knot prematurely.

    As for this guy... he seems a little naive. He's all chipper 'cause he got his first relationship out of the way and he can focus on other ones, but he might be disappointed with what he finds when playing the field. "Too scared" my ass, he just wasn't that into you.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You will always have a special place in his heart.

    We just want to have a strong outside appearance.


What Girls Said 2

  • do you honestly 100% know for sure there isn't someone else,u are not there when he is not at school,he sounds like he has a new gf,guys generally act indifferent when there's a new girl,

  • yes. my first love. it took 3 years to move on. I still think of him sometimes.


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