My boyfriend said he needs alone time and wants to "see what else is out there".

My boyfriend and I just broke up about a week and a half ago. We dated for over four years, since I was 17 and he was 18. We have been through a lot and were recently living together until the breakup.

In a nutshell, we broke up because he says "he loves me but" is scared of committing to me because he thinks he needs to see what else is out there and be alone for a while." He says he is scared that if he doesn't "get it out of his system", he will end up regretting it.

However, he also was crying when he told me this (he's NOT an emotional guy) and was telling me he knows he is going to regret it, that he misses me and just doesn't know what to do, and that he is confused. He said that he knows he isn't going to find anything better but he still just can't shake this feeling. He says he is refuses to cheat on me but is afraid that that is what will happen one day.

I love him and until now thought I would marry him some day. Now I'm unsure what to do. We have hung out twice during the breakup but now, since he finally told me the truth about why he wanted to break up, we haven't spoken.

I am not sure whether to give up or what. I feel that it is probably over if he is that unsure about me and if he needs this time that bad. I feel that if this break up, and losing me forever, is worth it to him, than it is time to give up. Am I wrong?

I am just confused because of how upset he seemed when he told me this... I'm having a really hard time with this and really miss him.



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What Guys Said 1

  • It seems that there's someone he's seeing at the moment.


What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly in my experience when a guy has a sudden change of heart its because someone else is in the matter what he says,if he truly loved you 100% without a doubt he would not have said he needs to see what else is out there,as in what? someone better? I would let him go as much as it hurts,i can almost bet he has his eye on a new prize as much as it hurts to hear.typical douche bag,thinks he can do better? yeah right,YOU can do better because you are loyal and committed and not seeking the bigger better deal,show him what he is really losing


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