I met a guy 4 years ago on a long vacation. We were together for 3 months then he went home, I followed to be with him. I end up getting pregnant. so I moved in with him instead of going back to my home state. we were fairly happy together, although I was there with no friends or family. after our daughter was born he started using drugs and got very verbally abusive. by the time our daughter was 8 months old, he was a full blown crack head and was cheating on me. I moved out with the baby but was still getting harassed and 3 months later tired to move out of state. I lasted out of state for about 3 months and was forced to come back because him and his dad started a custody battle and I ran out of money because of it. I then moved back and bounced around between his family members (they all know he's a lunatic). a year after moving back, I now have no where else to go so... I moved back in with him. I still don't have any friends or family. I'm not allowed to take my daughter out of state but 2 weeks out of a year and he tries to wreck the plans (not driving me to the airport 2 hours until my plane leaves making me miss my flight, if I won't do something for him he will not allow me to leave ..etc) I'm not allowed to go out (because I watch the baby 24/7 (shes is now 3)).im not allowed to have a job, or a drivers license. (although he complains we don't have money, and bashes how much of a loser I am) I complain about him but, I don't want to leave him..(we are not dating or anything) I don't want to take my daughter away from her dad, I don't want to have the fight with him. I find myself understanding why he thinks the way he does and I KNOW where he is coming from. (although is is f***ED up) I know he's messed up,.. I just don't know. I know it is not right and that it shouldn't be like this. but I believe I can make myself happy with that I've got, even in the situation I am in. My family wants me back and I miss them and I want to be with them, but I feel like I cannot leave my daughters dad or ill be sorry for it in the end. id just rather stay.
Most Helpful Girl
First off, get help. You clearly don't have the money or willpower to deal with the situation properly so find help.
Second, consider this. The person you are living with right now is nothing like the person you were dating before and certainly nothing like a man who's supposed to be a father. What makes you think that he won't abuse your daughter too when she grows up? Staying there will not make you happy. How many years of your life do you need to waste with him before you understand this?
Trust me on this, you're better off without him. Call a hotline, and maybe a lawyer. Get it sorted before it's too late.
What you're describing isn't Stockholm Syndrome.
I had a father like that and my mom took 10 years to leave him. He's now a jobless bum and my mom is much happier with a better guy.2