Do I have Stockholm Syndrome?

I met a guy 4 years ago on a long vacation. We were together for 3 months then he went home, I followed to be with him. I end up getting pregnant. so I moved in with him instead of going back to my home state. we were fairly happy together, although I was there with no friends or family. after our daughter was born he started using drugs and got very verbally abusive. by the time our daughter was 8 months old, he was a full blown crack head and was cheating on me. I moved out with the baby but was still getting harassed and 3 months later tired to move out of state. I lasted out of state for about 3 months and was forced to come back because him and his dad started a custody battle and I ran out of money because of it. I then moved back and bounced around between his family members (they all know he's a lunatic). a year after moving back, I now have no where else to go so... I moved back in with him. I still don't have any friends or family. I'm not allowed to take my daughter out of state but 2 weeks out of a year and he tries to wreck the plans (not driving me to the airport 2 hours until my plane leaves making me miss my flight, if I won't do something for him he will not allow me to leave ..etc) I'm not allowed to go out (because I watch the baby 24/7 (shes is now 3)).im not allowed to have a job, or a drivers license. (although he complains we don't have money, and bashes how much of a loser I am) I complain about him but, I don't want to leave him..(we are not dating or anything) I don't want to take my daughter away from her dad, I don't want to have the fight with him. I find myself understanding why he thinks the way he does and I KNOW where he is coming from. (although is is f***ED up) I know he's messed up,.. I just don't know. I know it is not right and that it shouldn't be like this. but I believe I can make myself happy with that I've got, even in the situation I am in. My family wants me back and I miss them and I want to be with them, but I feel like I cannot leave my daughters dad or ill be sorry for it in the end. id just rather stay.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First off, get help. You clearly don't have the money or willpower to deal with the situation properly so find help.

    Second, consider this. The person you are living with right now is nothing like the person you were dating before and certainly nothing like a man who's supposed to be a father. What makes you think that he won't abuse your daughter too when she grows up? Staying there will not make you happy. How many years of your life do you need to waste with him before you understand this?

    Trust me on this, you're better off without him. Call a hotline, and maybe a lawyer. Get it sorted before it's too late.

    What you're describing isn't Stockholm Syndrome.

    I had a father like that and my mom took 10 years to leave him. He's now a jobless bum and my mom is much happier with a better guy.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Girls are stupid and make really bad choices.

    So, you go out on a vacation to meet a total stranger and have unprotected sex with him and make him come inside you to get pregnant...holy f*** this is too retarded and stupid

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    • i wanst on vacation and he wasn't a stranger by the time we started having sex. notice I said, AFTER the kid was born he started being sh*tty.. people change people divorce after 20 years of marriage! I can agree with you that it is retarded and stupid thought.

  • There are hotlines for women like yourself to call if you are in an abusive relationship. This can be sexual and physical or even just verbal abuse. It is not your duty to put up with this because of your daughter. She will receive no benefits from seeing or hearing her mother being abused while she is growing up.

    Taking her away is a big step, but if this man is as messed up as you are saying and you are unable to have a normal functioning life in anyway, plus he makes you miserable then you need to get out.

    link -- (Leaving abuse.com)

    link (The hotline.org)

    I wish you the best.

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  • This is not Stockholm's Syndrome.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I agree with everyone, the relationship is only getting more and more.toxic. I know its easier said than done but my mom went through this, my dad was very abusivd (verbally and physically) and one day she finally got fed up and left. I never resent her for this she is a strong woman and now our family is happy as can be. She's moved on from that dark place she was in and so should you. Get help, tell your family cause who knows what he is capable of. Best of luck xx

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  • While your situation is weird and bad...

    It is not even close to Stockholm Syndrome.

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