1.me and my best friend both are not over our exes
2. we fell for each other cause we are both what we want in a partner completely and we love each other but not in love with each other if that makes sense
3. the feelings for our exes and each other are conflicting us so multiple times we've tried to stay friends and not kiss but we failed, we had sex like 2 sessions and one quickie but we are planning to never do that again.
4. we have so much damn chemistry and he;s my best friend ever, we support care and love each other and always there for each other and hence we don't wanna ruin the friendship
5. let me just say I have taken measures to get over my toxic ex which is cut ties with him so I may get over my ex sooner than him
6. my relationship with my ex lasted 3 years ,his 8 yrs, and I'm more over my ex than he is with his and he still has somewhat a bit contact with his ex cause he feels guilty how his ex father died last year
7. I've been single for 6 mths and him 11 mths
8. we spend a lot of time together
9. we get jealous when other people get interested in either of us and we say we don't get jealous but then the way we react we both no is jealousy
10. we don't wanna distance cause we wanna face our dilemma here and fix it
11. we really wanna get back onto be best friends and we wanna go with the flow ...we both hope that one day destiny will let us actually end up together
12. we both admitted that we both have thought about marrying each other, what our kids would be like, and we kinda joke about situations with our future kids which is kinda weird for besties to do
13. it's hard to want other people when he's this amazing guy and everything I ever wanted in a man, and he says I' the perfect girl too
14. Anyone has ever been in a situation like this , what's your advice?
He says he wants to be single for a while and be over his ex and if to ever be with me to give me 100% and I appreciate that and I wanna do the same for him ...I wish he would just take the chance and risk and be with me...cause I'm willing to take that risk one day
I never wanna rush him or myself cause I want to be with him when it's right..and I've never told him I wanna be his girlfriend right now and he says he never wants to hold me back.. when we decided to just stay friends we both cried and we both felt like it was some break up of a relationship that didn't exist.we both hurt for each other and love each other and we both don't ever wanna lose each other in life.like he constantly says to me " I don't ever wanna lose you, don't ever stop being in my life"
We wanna try and just stay best friends right now...honestly I don't wanna stay friends forever...but he means so damn much to me that if I just have a friendship that we have which is already so true and beautiful and makes me happy...then I am willing to be his best friend for life...he always says when he thinks of me being with someone else
Most Helpful Guy
1) Disaster waiting to happen
2) It doesn't, but cool good for you, everyone has their own reasons of why they are attracted to each other.
3) You guys have strong physical attraction for each other.
4) Then date, quit running from something you both want.
5) Why are you still talking about your ex's. They don't matter, you guys don't talk to them anymore...etc?
6) Guilty? Umm, you might rephrase that.. Otherwise, sounds like you've come to terms with it, so why mention that part?
7) OK...? What are you wanting? A relationship? A one night lay? He's cute, you like him, he listens to you, what are you waiting for? Besides running from the fear of your ex?
10) What's the dilemma? Just date already
11) Reverting a relationship to a friendship is impossibly difficult, and it sounds like both of you like each other, strongly, so why try and fight the grain on this one?
12) Support for my previous statements.
13) Sweet talk, are you sure he's sincere/genuine? (E.g. he hasn't done this to his ex?)
14) Run, like hell. Eventually you will fall for him harder than you've fallen for any man. In which you will also open the doorway for a vulnerability that establishes excrutiating pain. Is that worth it? Cause you could enjoy his company without needing to open that doorway for pain.
Re: Being single - Simply interact with him more and respect his choice. Pushing will only push yourself away from him, unless he's weaker minded about what he wants from life, in which I wouldn't recommend pursuing that type of man and I refuse to give my own discretion as to why. It's something you have to experience on a contextual individual basis.
Manipulating the situation is the only way you will push this situation along but it's not the manipulation most think. My simple suggestion to increase the likelihood he's moving towards dating you, is to be the girlfriend he wants to date. Have a lifestyle and be optimistic/nonchalant. etc Try to get an idea as to what you want from life and be that person.
You guys are probably incompatible with how much you are talking about you guys desperately wanting to be together yet there's so many fine-print conditionals to you guys being a couple. Just sayin'
Reverting a friendship to a relationship is more difficult than I can handle, you may be different. See aforementioned advice. Emotions usually are too strong to bear, causing you to crack under pressure and further push the said individual away. Hence why I don't waste my time on maintaining an old flame with an ex. It can be dramatic and nothing but headaches, tis your choice to make.
Finding new mates to mingle with is a manipulation trick I don't support. If I was in his shoes, I would delete you from my life indefinitely. I understand WHY you would consider doing something like that, to prevent yourself from falling deeper, but by not fighting for what you want (WHILE respecting me) you are showing that you are too weak to be my fiance in the future1