Does this guy really care about me or was he just using me?

I was seeing this man for about 5 months. I am 45 and he is 43. Our relationship started off very innocent. We met through a friend then we started taking on the phone on and off. We met to watch movies a few times and it moved into a sexual relationship. We would see each other a few times a week. We did go out and do things together too. When we were getting to know each other he told me about another woman who he was seeing last year that lived far away. He told me that he was in love with her and she wasn't in love with him and he was just a FB for her. They hadn't seen each other at all while I we were together (yes I am positive) I knew that she would be returning to town this month and I pretty much cut off the relationship with him, because I knew his feelings for her. He has told me that he really cares for me and misses me. He has even told me that he spoke to his mother about myself and this other woman, because he feels that he wants to be with me, but can't pull himself from this other woman. I do know that he has a history with her. I haven't seen him in almost a month. We texted back and fourth last week and then talked on the phone. It was very tearful on both ends, as in him missing me and feeling torn. I haven't pursued him at all or called. I really have some pretty strong feelings for him and I know he does for me. Or am I just being naive? Tell me your thoughts and advice :)
I do know that this woman returned to town this weekend and he has seen her.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Why would you go around making someone a priority who considers you an option.

    • I agree. I told him pretty much your exact comment. That is why I left the relationship. I was starting to have strong feelings for him. I left while he was at work and took all of my things. He knew I wasn't coming back. I am just wondering how a man thinks in this situation.

    • I've never been in the situation - so I can't really speak to his motivations as a guy. Other than having you for some fun and this other woman for a fling.

What Girls Said 1

  • Be strong and try to move on. If he really loves you he should have left that woman. And he is busy going behind your back meeting her, that's disrespectful of him towards you. Never allow yourself to be second best or to share a man.


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