I am about to graduate college. We have been together for 5 months and are both 23. He started school but stopped because he didn't enjoy it. He is more into hands on stuff, so I suggested trade school and he said that is a lot more likely for him. So he researched schools, said he was going to go back. But all of the sudden he has changed his mind.
So now he's only going to have a hs diploma. The thing that bothers me the most is that he is really smart and a very hard worker. His work gives him tremendous responsibility but will not promote him. I have no faith that management will ever move him up because then they'd lose him to another store who needs him more.
I am torn. College/education is very important to me. Plus, I want to be with a guy who has a good paying job and can support me and our future family. I'm worried he won't be able to get a good paying job, is going to have to work 93498x harder for less money, and he'll have nothing to fall back on if something ever goes wrong.
His options are so much more limited without a degree/training of any kind.
He is perfect in every other way except for this one.
What should I do? I'm really disappointed in him for not going further and living up to his potential. I think part of the problem is that nobody in his family went to college and none of his close friends did. So nobody pushes him except for me and a few other people we know who see the potential in him just wasting away.
Anybody have any advice? I really see this being a problem in the future when I am ready to get married and have children.
Most Helpful Guy
I have a feeling, given his background and his upbringing, he's not going to change, no matter how much you push him. Getting an education and better himself just isn't something he's passionate about and you cannot create passion where this is none. He needs to want this himself.
Most likely you are right and I've seen the same thing myself. People tend to become content with a similar lifestyle that they grew up in. People in poverty stay in poverty, people in the middle class say in the middle class, and the wealthy stay in the upper class. People become accustomed to a lifestyle and will naturally try to simply maintain it. Not everyone is driven to move up.
I realize the rest of this guy is "perfect", but you have to decide if this particular trait is a deal breaker. If it is, then the rest doesn't matter, otherwise it defeats the purpose of what something means to be a deal breaker.
You have to understand that by this point, this guy isn't likely going to make any big changes. He's had plenty of time and chances, as well as great ideas (trade school was a good suggestion). You basically have to decide if you are OK with his current career path or not. If the answer is no, I don't think you have much choice other than to break up with him. It's probably best you also do it sooner than given your age. You'd hate to waste a couple more years with this guy only to realize that he's not marriage material.2
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