Should I tell my new guy that I'm still on a lease with my ex but not living together?

I just started dating this guy about a month ago and we hit it off right away. I really enjoy his company and I always have a great time when we are together. We seem to be pretty comfortable with each other and we’ve been able to talk about a range of topics like tragic events in our lives to silly personal quirks, very easily. The other day he got on to the topic of our last relationships and who ended it, which after telling him I ended mine five months ago, he replied that he just wanted to get that out of the way (I suppose to see if I’m emotionally available). Then he said that he likes people to just be upfront and honest, which I agreed with. However, there are a few details that I left out and I had been waiting to share until I was sure that I was really into him and interested in more than just a date or two.

My ex and I were together for a little over 2.5 years and for the last year and a half we’ve shared an apartment together, or lease rather. In the fall our relationship started to dissolve as he pulled a major disappearing act and by the New Year I formally ended things by moving to my mother’s house. I’ve been trying for the last few months to get out of my lease but I’m having major troubles with the managing company as they lost my original lease a year ago. Because I am in between apartments, I still have my furniture at the apartment and some of my other belongings (I only go like once a month to check mail). I can’t move into a new place as I am still paying for the old apartment. The guy I am dating knows that I have been staying with my mom for the last few months and that I have an apartment that I’m trying to rid myself of—I just haven’t mentioned that an ex-boyfriend is attached to it (or maybe he figured it out on his own). I started moving on from my ex months before I moved out and I have absolutely no desire to rekindle anything or have anything to do with him. I really like this new guy and I am starting to feel like I should clarify things, just to keep things honest, but I am worried that he will get the impression that I have feelings for my ex because we share a lease. Should I be worried that he will run the other direction?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think you just need to bring it up, but that's certainly not a deal breaker for me. Emphasize that the relationship with the ex is OVER.

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What Girls Said 1

  • He's more likely to run the other direction if you continue to withold the information and he finds out some other way. If you want him to know it's not a big deal, then bring it up like it's not a big deal. Like, "I can't wait to be done with this lease so I can find myself another apt." And then work your way into it from there. Just let him know the situation is out of necessity, and not because either of you are trying to hold onto the past, or rekindle the relationship.

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