Why does my ex girlfriend still hang out with me all the time and keep it a secret from the guy she is talking

My ex of 5 years broke up with me and has been out with a new guy a few times now. For the last two months I have still been staying at her place, still working out together and sometimes she will come get on the couch with me wearing nothing but a t shirt and a thong. She definitely isn't afraid to let me see her naked either. The new guy found out about us going to the gym together via a friend of his and he told her to stop seeing me. She told me we couldn't have any contact anymore and was very serious about it. The next day she invites me over for supper and we are back to the way things were before the new guy found out we still have daily contact. She keeps it a secret from him. We now go to a different gym location his friend doesn't use. What is going on? I still love her but she says she doesn't want a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with me right now.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You have a girl that is emotionally destroying you.

    just say I don't really care and move on.. trust me on this… its not worth trying to be with them here because even though you might “win” you will definitely get messed up harder by the “loss”

    also.. it is important to have a carefree abundance attitude..some girls are really retarded and its a really bad idea to put your eggs into one basket (one girl) because when she flakes/cheats/lies/whatever you will be crushed/pissed/etc.

    the smart way is to have multiple options to avoid pain

    a man is only as faithful as his options…

    seriously.. though

    if you are in a relationship and have absolutely no prospects (girls texting you..flirting … wanting to hook up.. etc).. its just a matter of time.. if you have no other options you’re gonna get messed up one day…

    thats the problem with relationships

    people become content.. get fat.. get lazy… just let themselves slide.. ignorance is bliss..until they realize there is no escape from the sexual market

    … fast forward a bit

    when the forces of nature (2 year expiration window) end your relationship – its over..

    just like that.. everything you’ve poured your heart and soul into gets destroyed..

    you lose a part of yourself in every failed relationship– remember that

    thats why the best situation is to have multiple options and to BAIL (and never look back) at the first sign of trouble.


    you alone define what is too much trouble..

    maybe it is

    1. girl hanging out with other guys

    2. girl cheating on you

    3. girl not having sex often enough

    4. girl lying to you

    5. whatever

    there is a line we all have to draw (and the further you go the less self respect is left and the more needy,desperate you are.. basically its up to you how much disrespect from her you’re willing to tolerate)

    just remember.. there comes a point when there are more important things than notches/lays/”value”. .. I know but there are some lines not worth crossing … namely:

    1. girls that have dated or are dating your close friends (unless you don’t mind the friendship ending)

    2. exes (self-explanatory)

    3. girls with husbands/family (yeah I know its tough.. but I don’t tread this dangerous territory – boyfriends are bad enough)

    4. girls with mental issues (bipolar, ADHD, extreme druggies, etc )

    learning how to deal with them is just like everything else in life.. its meant to be fun.. its meant to help you understand and succeed.. but once the stakes get too high you really should say FO and bail.

    this way you never put yourself at risk; because you don’t gamble with what you can’t afford to lose.. and you can’t afford to lose yourself.

    trust me on that,

    good luck Bro :)

    • As much as it hurts I say you need to move on, unless ure okay with being her second choice. Find someone that deserves you and won't disrespect you like that. I've seen it happen a lot before and I can assure you once you move on she will come back but it would be up to you if you want to take her or not..

Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Guys Said 2

  • Ok this is my modest opinion, you are free to disagree but this sounds a lot like something I have seen before...

    what is going on is that she wants to have her cake and eat it ... she gets 2 guys at the same time by lying to one.

    "I still love her" + "she doesn't want a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with me right now." = you are the perfect tool. Pillow guy.

    She dumped you so if there is one that has stopped loving the other, it's definitely her. Of course she doesn't want to be your girldfriend anymore. Now she gets all the benefit of your company or love but she doesn't have to deal with any of the inconvenients since she's not with you anymore so she can take from you, but you have no right to ask her anything.

    She can be with you when the new guy is being a jerk or when she wants to shift the balance of power in her favor by making this new guy miss her, while she doesn't miss him since she is spending time with a second guy (you).

    And when she feels like having her Pussy rammed she goes back to him. And she let eat the crumbs (letting you see her naked... great... -__- ) but maybe you like being used...

    I just think it's highly disrespectful to this new guy, and also to you.

    You do what you want but I would get rid of her quickly... she has nothing to give you anymore and you deserve to find another girl.

  • It seems that she still want to be back with you.


Recommended myTakes