The girl I love is with another guy now

Well a little bit ago me and my girlfriend decided to take a break. A week and a half later she got drunk and now she's with another guy. I couldn't talk to her for awhile Because I was in pain. It was mainly my fault for the break but I thought it'd just be a week or 2 of us jut being friends and we'd be back together. But didn't turn out like that. I love this girl more than anything else in the world and it took this to realize that. She said her heart is still mine and she still lives me. She wants me to "wait" until there done and I could have her back. But I don't know if I can deal with it. every time she mentions him or I see how happy she is with him it kills me. I told her this and she said I'm sorry. She doesn't want me to disappear from her life and she told me she really misses me and wishes she had me back. But I don't know if I can fully believe her.. She just seems so much happier with him and the way she talks it sounds like he treats her better than Ever did. I probably sound like a fool now but I don't know I just want her back so bad and I don't know if I can sit here and be miserable all day everyday Because she's with him talking about him and it was her childhood crush. I guess what I want to no is. Should I wait for her or should I just try to move on? She said its kill her I I left her life completely but I don't know how much longer I can be around her with him.. I can't sleep at night I can't eat anything and I've even slit my wrists(stupid I no I regret it) I just want to no should I wait for her or just move on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Think this through. You want her back. She wants you back. What's keeping you from getting back together?

    The answer to that question is the fact that she's with another guy. She could easily dump him and come back to you, but she's not. She's staying with him and seeing how it goes...and guess what, if it goes south, whose gonna be there to clean up the mess? You.

    First off, there is no such thing as a "break." I realized this after my fiancé of 2 years (dated for 8) requested a break, told me she'd stay committed, then cheated on me. Its not a break. Its a breakup. Use that as a learning experience.

    Secondly, how are you okay with wanting to take a girl back who you know got drunk and hooked up with another dude in between your relationship? She's been with another guy while you're sitting home on the computer asking for advice man...she doesn't care about you. She has someone new, and she obviously didn't have too strong of feelings for you when you were together considering she's with another guy only a week and a half after your break. Now, she's lying through her teeth and stringing you along.

    Your need to accept the break up. They're tough. Stay strong. She is one of 3.6 billion women on the planet, and I guarantee you there is someone out there who wouldn't toy with your feelings like she is. You have to cut her out of your life. Leave hers completely. Put away everything that reminds you of her. It'll take months to completely feel better, but its a breakup. Its tough. But you'll see later in life, that any good woman would not do this to you.

    Step 1: Cut off all contact...phones, Facebook, everything. Don't even owe her an explanation

    Step 2: Grieve...mourn...take time for yourself. Do things you enjoy to distract yourself. Confide in friends if necessary. This starts the moving on process

    Step 3: Focus on yourself...join a gym...focus on your goals...build yourself up and improve your life.

    Step 4: Once you're happy and secure with yourself, slowly introduce yourself to the dating world again, and use this mess of a girlfriend as a learning experience.

    What qualifies me to tell you this? As I said above, I was once engaged. She cheated on me with 13 men. I wanted to take her back because I loved her. Instead of doing what was best for "us," I did what was best for me and I refused to take her back, even after she called crying on a nightly basis. I cried for months as well, but it was worth it.

    I sincerely hope you don't get back with this girl. I hope you refuse her a relationship with you, and refuse her a friendship. She doesn't deserve it, and you deserve to be the one to come out on top in this situation. Take your answerers' advice and you will.

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What Girls Said 1

  • The only way she'll come back crying to you is if you cut off all communication with her. Do not let her talk to you about her guy now. It's only insulting to you now. Tell her, your sorry that she's found someone new so quick, and that it hurts you to see that, and you want to move on...then do it. Then she'll have her tail between her legs! and don't respond for a while, if you have to.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Listen... You are her puppet. She KNOWS how you feel about her and she hurt you anyway. What does that tell you? She has already moved on and wants you to wait? The funniest thing is that if you would have done the same crap she would have told you how much she hates you and that she never wants to see you again.

    SHE HAS ANOTHER GUY. That tells you EVERYTHING you need to know. You made the mistake of trying to go on a "break". Break equals break up. She got excited knowing that she was free from you. Being "friends" with her? What benefit is there to you from that?

    You get to watch her with other guys, listen to her talk about other guys, have all the good times with him, you get to see her kiss him, touch him. Do you see where I'm going with this? If she asked you to film them having sex would you do it? You love her and would do anything for her right?

    She is NOT your friend! She is doing this because you are a nice guy and she knows she can get away with it. Nice guys finish last and end up like this. You worry about losing her? Guess what. YOU ALREADY LOST HER and she is HAPPY with someone else. Do you think she talks to him about you?

    How in the hell do you see anything positive with this so called woman at this point? No matter what type of garbage she is feeding you to try to comfort you, at the end of the day she is giving herself to someone else. WAKE UP!

    STOP ALL COMMUNICATION. She is stringing you along and she is secretly laughing her ass off. Start dating other girls. The more you talk to her, you are telling her that you have no respect for yourself and that's all you have in common. Don't chase her. Don't do the stupid thing and tell her that you won't talk to her anymore, just stop talking to her. No calls, no emails, no texts, no Facebook, nothing. Move on.

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  • Leave her man, you can't wait for her to have her fun and have you as her back up plan, have some dignity your a MAN, act like one, I don't think women appreciate a wimp. Man up

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  • The guy below me is very right.

    Women do not want to deal with depressed losers like the way you are acting.

    They are attracted to self confident and independent men.

    Regardless of whether you love her or not you need to MOVE ON.

    At the rate you've played it, she will never return to you as soon as she finds out that you've been cutting yourself over her.

    Bro, break ups are hard. I KNOW, and I've been on the Break Up thread the most because I've finally learned how to cope with it and I want to share my experiences. It's tough the first 2 weeks but after you've accepted the fact that you are going to let her go. Then it will be easier for you to move on.

    I don't even want to encourage you on ways on how to get her back because quite frankly I don't think ANY woman deserves a depressing gloomy person like the way you're behaving.

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  • You should really move on. She's already committed to someone.

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