Is She Playing Games? Or am I expecting too much too quick?

I am a 43 year old recently divorced man. (Seperated a year ago, finalized 6 months. ago) I was recently set up on a date with a 37 year old single woman. We are both professionals with erratic schedules. (I am a chef and she is an ER Doctor.) After being introduced at my restaurant by our mutual friend I got her e-mail and asked her for her phone number. Two days later she e-mailed back and gave it to me. The next day I called her and left her a message saying I was sorry I missed her and would try another time. The next day she tried to call me, however I was at work and couldn't take the call. Finally the next day I got to talk with her for about 45 minutes and there was a definite connection. We agreed to go out the following Sunday. (A week in the future) The next day I e-mailed and invited her to go to the zoo and get something to eat afterward. The next day she responded and said that was great and suggested a time. I e-mailed back that was great and asked if I could pick her up. Three days later I had heard nothing back so I sent a general e-mail saying hi, that my week was crazy etc. I ended it saying I was looking forward to Sunday, but no other mention of our date. The next day she e-mailed back some general stuff ended by see you tomorrow. I picked her up and we went to the zoo, for drinks, to dinner, and out for more drinks. 7 hours in all. We have a lot in common and had a lot of fun. I feel confident we had a good connection. At the end of the date I walked her to her door she gave me a big hug and I kissed her on the cheek. I told her I wanted to see her again and she agreed, We had discussed schedule a bit and When I asked if I could call, she said please call even if she was working, she would enjoy hearing the message. The next day, Monday, I called and left her a message saying I really had a good time and what my schedule was (I had said I would do so.) Suggested we could get together for dinner or a drink after work. Now it's 3 days later and nothing. I know she was off today and thought maybe she would call, even if it was to leave a message. She knows I am off this coming Saturday and Monday. (It's Wednesday night now.) I really feel like she is a special woman and that she is interested in me. What next? Is she playing games? Am I expecting too much too quick? I am trying to play it cool but the uncertainity is killing me. Let me know your thoughts.
Updates:
Update, I was being impatient and unrealistic. She texted this morning saying she was sorry she hadn't called and would later this week. As well that she had a great time. Thank you all for your help

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Give her some more time, she knows your schedule so she probably doesn't feel an urgent need to rush to get a moment of your time.

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What Girls Said 5

  • You're sorta rushing it. Give it a a week if she doesn't respond then she's kinda avoiding you.

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    • I think you are right. I was being impatient, but who could blame me? You meet a wonderful woman you want to see her right? She texted this morning saying she was sorry she hadn't called and would do so later this week, and that she had a great time

    • Great to know all it is well

  • I'm glad you seem to have figured it out.

    I reacted the same way as you when I first started dating my current boyfriend. I'd get anxious, nervous, suspicious and everything else if I didn't hear back from him after a certain amount of time. Eventually I just told myself to breathe and live my life and now everything is great.

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  • In the beginning try not to text and call too often - that's for more solidified relationships.

    Same getting to know each other for in person dates and use texting/calling solely for setting them up.

    Too much too soon makes people tired of you before you've really gotten to know each other.

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  • maybe your expect is too high

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  • Sometimes it seems like females are playing games when really they are just trying to figure things out for themselves also. Give it time.

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What Guys Said 2

  • There's no uncertainty here. If she hasn't returned your call after three days, you're dead in the water. Here is what I would recommend for your future dating endeavors:

    -- Don't ask her for her phone number through e-mail. Better yet, don't ask for her e-mail address at all, just her phone number.

    -- To ask her out, use the phone, not her e-mail.

    -- Don't talk to her for 45 minutes on the phone. Save it for the date. At least in the early stages, the phone is for arranging dates, period. Limit the conversation to 5-10 minutes.

    -- Don't ASK her if it's okay to do something. TELL her what you're going to be doing. If she's not cool with something you're proposing, she'll let you know. Women dig a confident man with a plan.

    -- When the date is over, kiss her on the lips, not the cheek. It shows you're interested, plus it lets you know how interested she is. (If she turns her head, you're out.)

    -- Don't call her the next day after a date. Give her some time to breathe. If she's interested, time is on your side; you can only hurt your cause by moving too quickly.

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    • I only asked for her phone number by e-mail because I couldn't get back out to her table before they left the restaurant. How could talking on the phone with someone before a date be a bad thing? As far as telling not asking, well that's a pretty prehistoric attitude. As far kissing goes there are no absolutes, in this case a kiss on the cheek was the right thing to do. Your last comment I agree with. And by the way she texted this morning saying would call later this week

  • It seems that she just gotten busy, or she's really down because a patient of hers must have died.

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