Should I bother with him or not? Opinions via poll would be much appreciated!

Basically (Ryan) was the original guy I was seeing. I really liked him and everything seemed too good to be true. Anyway, Ryan had just broke up with his girlfriend and we were going WAY too fast. Like within a month things were already getting a bit much, but I was struggling to slow down.

We had a really petty misunderstanding and it turned into both of us getting hurt, me more than him. In the end I said 'Maybe we should just end this' and he had said that he didn't want it to end. But after me saying that he then decided to end it with me.

I was gutted. This was the 1st guy I'd liked in a long time and I wanted it to work. He rebounded back to his ex and I went off and kissed his friend (Ross). I know this sounds AWFUL but I had known Ross before I even met Ryan and I'd kissed Ross before.

At the time I was honestly so gutted and wanted to move on. A few weeks later Ryan phoned me later at night apologising about how things had went with us and that he's never wanted to hurt me. I honestly felt the regret in his words as well. I accepted his apology but I wish I'd maybe made more of an effort to apologize and fix things with him that night. I didn't though. AND I kept going back and kissing Ross because I was still hurt about Ryan.

I know it's all so wrong. And eventually Ryan became bitter towards me. Honestly we don't speak. I have no idea what's happening with him now. If he has a girlfriend etcc. But I do know that I am sorry for my part of things, and perhaps my apology is months late now...

I'm just scared he rejects it or I make him mad. I miss him terribly. I miss talking to him and just chilling with him. I think about him everyday, basically I am reminded about apologising to him everyday. It's driving me crazy. I still care about him so much. But maybe I'm too late.

What can I do?

Pleeeease don't judge me. I couldn't explain the wholel of it because it's too long!

  • Should I bother explaining how I feel to him?
    Vote A
  • Or should I just erase him from my life completely?
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You clearly care about him, I mean to write this all out seeking for random people's help. I think you should apologize and talk to him. You'll never know if you don't try and if he rejects well too bad it's his loss At least you'll know where you two stand and you know you tried.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Of course I do. Yes I suppose you're right. Once I talk to him I'll know for sure then make a move from there...thanks.

    • Your welcome and I hope everything works out I know I'd be acting the same as you

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What Guys Said 7

  • You should make the effort. Text him and just say "Hey." If he replies, make some small talk. If things go well, ask if you can call him. Then apologize. At that point, you've already taken the right steps to fix things. Then it's his choice whether to accept and break the cycle or not.

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    • thanks I really needed to hear some helpful advice like this! It's horrible when it's up to you to get the ball rolling in such a situation as this!

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    • I'd rather not say in public. You can friend request and/or personal message me though :-)

    • Ok I'll do that, I might be a little slow on reply because I need to sleep soon :)

  • Yes, easily yes. It's never good to hide your feelings and not make amends. It's not the easier answer, but running away is a cowardly option and the easy option. Shouldn't take the easy option.

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    • thanks you are totally right. thank you! x

  • You should contact him now.
    He's still want to retain the friendship with you.
    You're never too late when it comes to apologizing to someone. Only when they've passed away, that is.

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  • You should explain it to him. You still have a chance. There's just a little misunderstanding.

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    • You think? he might hate me now for everything that happened with his friend, that's the only thing haha

  • You can clear the air, but that may be as far as you'll ever get. I'd still try to make things right, even if you don't ever get back to where you were.

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    • Thanks, clearing the air is better than nothing. And at least gives us half a chance, thank you :)

    • You're welcome

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What Girls Said 6

  • if you really care about him, talk to him. oh and stop kissing ross

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  • Hmm I wouldn't judge you on that. It sounds like it just wasn't working out for either of you, once you got to that point. As for what can you do, well, it's up to how your guys' friendship works.

    Forgiveness and action is what you need to work towards. Set up a time with him, tell him you want to talk. Try and do it in a more private setting, where you know there won't be a distraction. I'd recommend taking a drive. Lay everything out on the table, talk it out.

    At that point, actions speak louder than words. Show him that you value his friendship. But don't forget, that you shouldn't have to do all of the work. If he isn't giving back, it's not worth it for you.

    If you want to get back together, focus on your friendship first. Time will tell if that's in the cards for you.

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  • Should I bother explaining how I feel to him?

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  • Should I bother explaining how I feel to him?

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  • Should I bother explaining how I feel to him?

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