At what point do you move on after a break up?

How long after a break up do you decide to move on?

the next day, week, a month later, months later?

Do you date someone or just decide to be single for a while?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It takes me months of being on a "female hiatus" for me to be completely reset from the previous relationship with zero baggage.

    • Sounds reasonable, at least you are giving your new partner a fighting chance to build something with you.

    • I want to make sure I'm emotionally and mentally reset before I go out on the hunt again! ;-)

    • Oh thanks for BA!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • Don't rush off looking for someone else to fill the hole that was left by the breakup. It won't work. Just enjoy being single, and my advice, don't go looking for a relationship right away. It will come to you. Who knows, the one meant for you may be right around the corner. Don't rush things, take your time and enjoy the time you have to yourself.

    • Not rushing is good and think everyone should try to stay positive after a break up

  • A good rule of thumb: for every year of the relationship, you need a month of being single. So, if you dated for 7 years, then you should be single for at least 7 months before getting into another relationship.

    The bigger issue is that many people refuse to accept that a relationship is over, and they hold out hope that they can "fix it" and get back together, despite all the evidence to the contrary. In that case, they never even START the "getting over it" clock, even if months or years have gone by. The clock doesn't start until you've accepted that your previous relationship is over.

    • Well I think that depends on the break up, I found it easier to deal with the ending of my 15 year marriage I was over him in months, but than I had been emotionally detached for years! - and before you ask I only stayed for the sake of the children.

    • My formula is based on emotional attachment to the end, so it makes sense that since you weren't emotionally attached, you could get over it much sooner. Emotional attachment is the hardest thing to get over.

  • Take time to grieve. Don't rush it. Don't use someone else to fill that void: let yourself grow through it. Then be happy being single, and when you are genuinely happy being single, be open to new relationships.

    Depending on the depth of your relationship, it may take months, perhaps even years. But that's OK. It could also be shorter. Who knows? Take care of You. That way whenever someone else comes along, you'll be ready! :o)

  • It depends.

    Honestly after I break up I tend to think with my heart more than my mind.

    Usually takes me a week to understand that it's over

    • Only a week to understand it, how much emotional commitment does that show

    • What are you trying to say?

      And yes, a week is a reasonable time to understand that everything I've been through with a committed relationship has gone down to sh*t.

      Don't take it the wrong way, my healing process would probably take longer depending on the situation.

  • generally as soon as I can

  • Whenever a better opportunity comes along :)

    • That is a sad comment, as everyone you meet should mean something to you

  • It would be about 3 days for me.

    • Well that just tells me you have never had your heart broken...

What Girls Said 5

  • For me it depends! I got out of an 8 month relationship about 2 and a half months ago and was really hurt when it first happened. I thought it would take me a long time to get over him but with time I realized that how he ended things was awful and I had done nothing wrong. At this point I feel like I am over him, however am not quite ready to 'date' yet! I did meet another wonderful man and told him this and he was so respectful in saying that he understood and that he expected nothing from me and would like nothing more than my company...nothing else expected!

    And I think because of how my previous relationship ended, I was able to move on a lot faster than if he had ended things in a respectful and mature way.

    For me it is important to take time for yourself and heal. I would never start dating someone right away out of respect for myself and for the other person (I would never want them to feel like they were a rebound). And I am not the type of person who has flings or one nights stands, it's just not my thing. When I meet someone that I like I want to be sure I have fully moved on to be fair to the next man :)

    • I also think it is interesting that they say it takes half the amount of time that the relationship lasted to get over it.

      There are so many factors and I don't think you can put a number or an equation on someone's feelings and how long it should take them to move on!

    • Yes, well what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I do think you must take time to heal or you will bring the baggage from the previous relationship forward. Every new relationship should have a clean slate. You need to be more cautious to whom you give your heart too. You can be fond or love someone in many different ways however the love deep in your heart are for the chosen few.

  • I heard that as a generally rule, it's one and a half times as long as the relationship. I can personally attest to that.

    • I think the time frame is different whether you were the dumper or dumpee.

    • Show All
    • I don't think acting rude and initiating no contact means you're over it. I think that's the exact opposite. I think being over it means being open to discussion but saying no when they ask for you to come back. I took "moving on" as meaning that you're no longer hung up on that person any more.

    • Who was acting rude? initiating no contact means you are unable to deal with your problems in a civilized way with your partner and unwilling to end the relationship with respect and dignity.

      No Contact is something developed by relationship guru's

      Some consider it emotional abuse, as it leave the other party in emotional limbo.

      You should never feel obliged to return to a relationship. You have to want to be in it. Moving on does not have to mean you no longer have feelings for that person.

  • It depends on the person. Its been almost 11 months since my break up, and I still haven't been able to full and completely move on. And that's only because its was a horrible horrible break up. He was my first and only love, and I haven't been able to date someone since. We dated for over 2 years, which for me is a while to be with someone. And then just one day...i dunno, I guess he just stopped loving me, and gave up and didn't want to try anymore. He wouldn't talk to me, or anything. Just nothing. It was terrible. Oh and not to mention he had a new girlfriend 2 months after we broke up...soo yuppp... It really all depends on the person, how they take it, and how the breakup was

    • I know how you feel, but I don't think anyone really stops loving anyone they were involved with, it is like someone else said on this site, you are always there in a memory in their head.

    • Well I'm not too sure he feels the same way for me...

  • he broke up with me 9 months an over 10 yr. relationship...i thought I will never want to be with anyone else...i still know...

    i met someone recently...and not sure if I am even really ... so everyone is different..every situation is different...give yourself time

    • omg :'( I'm sorry to hear! That's sh*t!

    • thats not even the beginning lol maybe 20% of my mystery ...

      with the new guy..or any guy I don't think I can ever trust anyone again in my life

      its more than just one broken heart..but I will be okay

    • Never think of love as with just one person, love is a life time thing.

  • For me I have a bad habit moving on too fast. I will mourn one week, one month, depends on how long it takes until I found a new guy. If I could find a new guy within the next month, I will move on at that moment immediately lol! Yes I know it's not healthy, but I'm kind of angry with myself too because sometimes I really envy those girls who could live single without needing to be with anyone in their life :)

    • My advice to you would be to take a break and see if you can live that single life without needing someone. I have done that, and what I want now is to share me with someone who will cherish it.

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