Is he waiting for something better?

my live in boyfriend of 12 months and I broke up last month when we moved into our second place. I am 34 he is 43. It was awesome and everything was falling into place for both of us. Then after one argument via email about a mysterious call I got from a girl who ended up being bogus he had enough of my accusations so he ended it once and for all. I had been married to a man for 12 years who betrayed my trust so I do have some issues there to work on, but I feel like his actions have triggered some of it. Ex: he unfriended me on FB after I got jealous of a girl, he never said "I love you", I was the only one working for a while so I feared he was using me till now, then he never initiated sex much and he enjoys non-vanilla and gets lazy when it comes to pleasing me. These were all reasons I would question him.

He held back on me so I didn't trust him, but that just pushed him further away I think?

On the bright side he and I are like best friends when we would spend every moment together and talking, cooking, sometimes sex.

Now that we've broken up he seems to regret the decision a little. We still hang out and kiss. He also helped me move, and he continues to talk to me about himself, me, ect.

The difference now is we no longer talk about building a house or marriage like we used to.

While I was still living there and we were broken up I snooped and found some messages that were to ex girlfriends/flings just one day after I decided to go out with my friends. Like he wanted revenge or have a back up plan because the messages were dated for the day after I went out no sooner. Now that he knows I know about the messages he assures me that it was nothing and were were broken up.

I am so confused by him. I fell hard for this one and is everything I want minus the weird behavior. I also always catch him starring at me or he will crack my toes, sit by me, email me, and give away expensive stuff to me, also he kissed me the last night I lived with him and when we hug he holds on tight and slow.

Part of of me thinks he got scared and maybe cheated and feels guilty but he is generally a really nice guy and very educated so I doubt he would do something stupid like be unfaithful?

He always stated how strongly he felt against cheating.

I am so confused and maybe it's because he truly cares but because of my issues he wants to explore his options a bit now that I am all moved out.

What do you think?
Updates:
Why would he still want to hang out and keep in touch after he owes me money?
He also said when we broke up that it was because I needed to work on myself ex: stop being insecure, how I handle stress, and quit dwelling on the past. He also wants me to fix my financial issues before we can date again later.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • "he ended it once and for all."

    You said it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You should really end it once and for all. He's not worth it anymore.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think your gut is telling you exactly what he is doing,u found an email the day after you went out,no he wasn't getting even,he was being shady and the fact that he doesn't initiate sex w you often is another red flag...when they begin to act distant it is because they are cheating,happend to me the same way

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    • heres another read flag,deflecting blame by making it look like you have issues...wtf?He also said when we broke up that it was because I needed to work on myself ex: stop being insecure, how I handle stress, and quit dwelling on the past. He also wants me to fix my financial issues before we can date again later. my ex told me the same thing and I found out how HE was dealing with stress...lying and cheating...forget the douche bag

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