Is my ex gone forever?

She left me 2 months She is 18, I'm 20. We dated for 3 1/2 years. We went out once since the breakup, and afterward she said she needs more time and space, and that she doesn't want me dating any one, and she promises to do the same. ( I trust her, and I know she is being honest) I asked her out again, but she said no. I want to do no contact, but it's very difficult for me. I always want to talk to her. I won't give up as long as there is the smallest chance we will get back together. I love this girl. I smothered her, and kept her away from her friends. I know my faults, and I have worked on them, and I'm ready to prove them to her that I have changed. If there is anyway to get her back, please help me figure out a way. She isn't going away to college, and we live pretty close to each other. This upcoming Weekend I'm going away. I know it will solve nothing, but I am getting drunk, and burning her love letters. If we do get back together, I want a new relationship, not the old one. I loved much of the old parts, but in order for us to work, it has to be a new one. I haven't contacted her in a week, and haven't really updated my Facebook. I made a status today, and she liked it within about 30 seconds. I assume she is following me or something on Facebook. The status had nothing to do with the relationship!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Too bad there isn't some sort of magical frying pan that I can hypothetically use to smack some sense into you.

    I'm going to tell it to you straight: She's keeping you on a leash.

    Everything from your post screams that she wears the pants in this "relationship".
    She says that she wants space but she doesn't want you to date anyone else? No wait, she doesn't want YOU BOTH to date. Yet she knows she has you so wrapped that you'll buy anything she says. How bleeped up is that?

    One might argue with me, "we're meant to be together"
    But the fact of the matter is -- YOU GUYS AREN'T TOGETHER.
    Girls are very obvious creatures when it comes to who they want to be with. If she wanted to be with you, she would BE WITH YOU.

    One of the worst things we sexes do to each other is give the hope that the relationship COULD be more than it is.

    Moving on to something you WANT to hear...

    If you want to get her back: You need to treat her with indifference.

    What is indifference you ask? Okay, think of someone you really like. How do you feel? Now think of someone you really despise. How do you feel? Now think of that speck of dust on your floor? Don't you feel like it's completely insignificant?
    THAT is how you need to respond to her. Notice how I said respond and not approach? It's obvious that you have been the one chasing her. Relationships are all about compromising and so far she hasn't done her share.

    It may take a while but I promise you'll notice a difference in her attitude towards you. I can't promise you that she'll want a romantic relationship with you but I can promise you that you'll find a new RESPECT for yourself that you never thought possible.

    In the meantime, focus on bettering yourself. Is there a friend you've neglected? Get in touch. What about a hobby you've always wanted to try? Go for it.

    Women and men aren't that different: We both want someone who WANTS us but does not NEED us.

    • Yes, we want someone that needs us. There is a very big difference between needing someone and being NEEDY. Why would I want to be with someone who didn't need me?

    • rudy37lee. True, very true. I'm guessing that we're looking at the same puzzle piece with different wording? I get what you mean though.

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What Girls Said 1

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What Guys Said 7

  • You dated since she was wonder she wants some freedom, some time and space!

    Let her go, don't try to hold on to her...regardles of what she does down the road.

    She needs some time to live and explore life. If you love her, learn to leave her alone, mostly, unless she contacts you.

  • You tell her "I'm not going to sit around and not date anyone while you decide". She wants her space, she's young and in her prime. She's seeing other people.

    And I'm not going to tell you to move on. You'll learn when you look back when you turn 30 and say "WTF was I thinking?" If you don't want to hear valid advice and make your own dumb mistakes, I'm not going to stop you.

  • "she said she needs more time and space"

    That's a rejection, bro.

    " I asked her out again, but she said no"

    It cannot get any clearer.

    "I always want to talk to her"

    It's called neediness. It's actually a really bad thing.

    "If there is anyway to get her back"

    I wish I 'could tell you there's a way. Sorry, bro, but it's over. Don't be surprised to find out she's dating someone else in the next couple of days/weeks. That's how fast girls move on.

  • Wait, you're broken up but she doesn't want you dating other people?!? That's crazy. You need to move on. I'd bet she's dating someone else.

  • Saying that she's gone forever is a little too strong. It's never forever. You just need to give yourself some space. One week is not enough. More like 6 months.

  • She's not gone forever. It seems that she just want to have some time for herself, and to be able to sort through things in her life.

  • She's gone for ever, most likely. She just doesn't want you to date other girls because she knows guys can do that much faster than girls, and it will hurt her if she sees you with someone else, while she is not yet over you completely.

    She wants to date someone else first. And then she won't give two f***s what you do.

    You want to prove that you're not the smothering type any more? Date someone else. Show that you're capable of having a non-smothering relationship.

    All you're doing now, is showing her that you're still a little guy who will do whatever she says, for as long as she says, in the way that she says. That's not a man.


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