Guys Is it possible that my man may be trying to keep me feeling down about my self so I will not leave him?

My husband says mean things to me and puts me down. Then will say the sweetest things and say how much he loves me. I'm confused. He talks about how he could leave me and cheat at

anytime but worries about me cheating on him. What do you all think? Please help me?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Is he ever violent or physically abusive?

    It may not be what you want to hear but I honestly believe (in my totally non-expert opinion) that it's just a ruse for his own insecurities. But the fact that he doesn't just worry about you cheating, but he says mean things, makes me think that he's trying to be controlling and feel like he's in charge.

    If you feel comfortable enough to talk to him about it, I think you should. But If you feel uncomfortable talking to him about it, you should probably speak to a therapist or someone to help you leave him. If he becomes violent and abusive it'll only get worse.

    Please be safe, best of wishes!

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What Guys Said 4

  • I think you're algebraically correct here..he wants to control you, and that's why he blows hot and cold, to keep you confused and dependent on him for affection...but always worrying he'll leave.

    You shouldn't put up fpr a second with such manipulation! Let him know that!

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  • That sounds like verbal/emotional abuse to me.

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  • He is not a good boyfriend , hence is why your with him. Girls always say they want a kind loving funny man, yet always date hook up marry the a**holes and beaters. You should find a new man.

    To be honest in ym experience if soemone is worried about there s.o cheating or what ever its because there cheating themselves and are guilty

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  • No, he's not making you feel down. He's just having some trouble expressing his true feelings, though it's clear that he really wants to be with you.

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    • I like that you're looking at it from a different angle. I hope it's as simple as that :]

What Girls Said 3

  • That's usually one of the reasons people like to put down their partners, yes. He could also just do it because he feels bad about himself, for one reason or another.

    Honestly, I recommend marriage counseling. There is something boiling just beneath the surface and you two may need outside help to get to the bottom of it.

    I hope things get better, and I hope you guys get some help.

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  • thats verbal abuse and it can lead to physical. you shouldn't be talking about this to random people on the internet, you need to see a therapist or something.

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  • leave him. to me it is a form of abuse and control. usually when a man accuses/worries about you cheating he is the one that is cheating. You can do better.

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