We’re in college, late 20’s, not religious, reasonably attractive people.
JUST THE GIST: Movies in his bed. He initiated spooning, massaging, touching. I reciprocated everything. Upon his asking, I spent the night the last 2 times. No kiss! No touching my butt/chest. (while awake; see “more info.”) Hasn’t played with my hands. Those who want in my pants usually do some variation of those things. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s how most movie-watching-bed-lying times end up amongst 20-somethings. What is the deal?
MORE INFO: Hung out 3 times this past wk. 2 sleepovers. Spooned and embraced all night. His hands: inside my shirt the moment we hit the bed, last time, particularly. Caressing, scratching, massaging, rubbing my back and arms. Stroking my hair, neck, cheeks, bare waist. I don’t initiate, just reciprocate. Slid my bra straps down out of the way to caress my shoulders and slips his hand under my band to caress my back. With his arms already entirely up the back of my shirt, “Do you want a tank so I don’t stretch your shirt?” We slept twice in a horizontal hug, which, by the way, is evilly uncomfortable. Arms under/around waists. My thigh between his. Against the man’s crotch. Yes, he placed it there. His head under my chin, against my neck/chest. My trying to pull away during sleep only resulted in being pulled back closer and tighter EVERY time. He’s been both fully on top of me or had me on top of him for a few moments. Great talks too. At the end of each time, we plan the next. I’ve got a week.
Met in class last semester. This semester, we hung out for food, only recently graduating to places with beds (last 3 times). He almost always worked in an innocent invite back to his place after, to chill. Unknown to him, I wasn’t single. Few knew about the 3-yr. relationship/subsequent breakup. We had a routine dinner and we hung out at his place for the first time, which led to spooning. He’s semi-private, but friendly and outgoing, as am I. Has female friends. Has mentioned ex-girlfriend(s). Just revealed he's former military. No mention of a current girlfriend or someone he’s seeing/dating. One girl friend seems closest. Saying “my friend, “X,” and I were hanging out” is taken at face value, because he demonstrated he’s capable of using terms. Once, after we had already spooned, the guy’s male friend made a joke that she would be an obvious suspect in his murder because (he mumbled) she’s dating/dated him. The guy wasn’t in the room to hear that. She knows we spent the night together.
Of the spoons I’ve been in, someone’s little gentlemen, or breasts, make an appearance. I felt it move, once, on my thigh, ok? Just sayin’. I have woken up with his hand cupping my chest momentarily. Once there was an actual “honk-honk” squeeze after what I will call “sleeping repositioning” on his part. I’ve tried to pull away from his embrace, only to wake him up just enough to pull me closer and tighter, one time doing this by briefly grabbing my butt.
Most Helpful Guy
I don't think platonic is the word I would use to describe that.
Steamy is perhaps a better word.
Or maybe my thinking is too old-fashioned? But at least according to my thinking, just because there's no sex and smooching doesn't mean it's entirely platonic.
I mean, you can still say you're just friends if you're both single, since technically (though I don't think this sums up to being purely platonic) you haven't done anything that is beyond that. But if you weren't single, I think what you're doing would be cheating so it's not platonic.2
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